HAWMC, Day 4

I write about my health because… Reflect on why you write about your health for 15-20 minutes without stopping.

I write about my health because I have to talk it out to be okay with it.

I choose not to burden any one person with my pain, instead I spread it out evenly on the internet.

It's important for me to connect with other people having similar experiences, it's important to know we're not alone. With a rare, and mostly invisible illness like chronic migraines and daily head pain, I often feel like a freak. I hesitate to tell people that I'm ill, but it comes out eventually and most people don't want to deal with someone else's disability. I don't have many real-life friends, I'm a difficult person to spend time with unless you want to do all the driving, silence every noise, don't mind switching seats with me or turning off all the lights or being okay with canceled plans or that I can't do pretty much anything that normal social people do, and every time we hang out you're taking a gamble on which steph you're going to get. Will she be snarky, achy, and doped to hell, or will she be mellow and cheerful but will flip out about half an hour into the bookstore because someone just walked by with perfume on and now we have to go home. I feel like I'm a disappointment to a lot of people, which doesn't bother me most of the time since I know I'm doing my best, but it can be difficult to be honest about my health with the people around me. I really enjoy the honesty, acceptance and the camaraderie of the online migraine community. We share information, encourage each other, commiserate with disappointments and I feel like I've found an amazing resource in blogging. It's like therapy, except it's run by the patients. Is that a good idea? Heh.

This was only five minutes, but I'm tired now and I still have other things I have to do today.