Saturday, June 17, 2017

Progress and Hope

I'm exercising more frequently, and though my stamina still isn't quite where it was, I'm really pleased with myself.

YES look at that consistency in the second half there! That's what I'm talking about. My cardio of choice is still hiking, with as much jogging on the flat and downhill bits as my head will allow; though now I've added dancing to my routine, because I like having music most mornings and there's no one out there to see me wiggling my butt to Beyonce. Only the deer will judge me. And now I guess you will, but that's ok.

I learned a few tai chi moves last week, let's see if I pick that back up this summer. It's hot right now and everything feels like warm mud and frustration, so I'm not making any promises beyond hiking in the mornings and getting out into the world as much as I can. It was a long winter, and I don't just mean the weather, so it feels like it's time for a celebration of life.

Let's party.

Quietly, of course.


Thursday, June 15, 2017

Fun, Insecurity, and Sadness, All in One Post!

Being invisibly ill on social media is a whole thing, I guess.

A few weekends ago I went to our local pride event. I missed the parade but we went and had a snack at the small gathering, people-watched, spun a wheel for prizes (i got nipple pasties omg), and then walked around the little downtown area for a while, had a proper lunch, and then came home. It was a few hours of fun, so much more than I usually do that I was medicated to the gills to deal with it all. But being out with friends was well worth the subsequent migraine and days of exhaustion, because if I stay inside all the time I will lose my mind.

So I posted some pictures of my friends and I at pride on my various social media outlets and shortly after started feeling very insecure. While my profiles are all friends-only, some of those friends are people I don't see much, some are people I'm related to and have only met a handful of times, and a few are people who judge me unfairly for being chronically ill and unable to work. I very rarely talk about migraines on social media. I despise pity and don't at all enjoy receiving unsolicited advice about topics in which I am a reluctant expert, so I stick to posting about politics and happy things, mostly politics lately. But should I be more open?

I don't owe anybody anything, but I do enjoy honesty, and don't feel I have anything to be ashamed of, but I do prefer being private, to avoid those aforementioned helpful suggestions. Like, if one more person suggests the daith piercing I don't even know what. Maybe I'll just ask them to pay for it, hah.

I've got some sad news while I'm here. We buried our 11-year old puppy on the mountain a few days ago. She'd been struggling for a while, with lyme, and possibly something neurological towards the end. We're going to miss her so much, she was a huge personality in a little furry body, very communicative, sweet, and stubborn. We feel lucky to have known her.

Hug your fur family, friends. <3