Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Year: in Review/Incoming

Goals for 2016:

-Write a short story, and submit it somewhere
-finish beginner spanish, continue to learn at least 5x week
-continue to exercise
-find inner peace, nbd

2015 was rough on me, and I couldn't think of a thing I'd accomplished in the year, until I looked back on what I recorded here. I kicked ass this year, even though this year kind of kicked my ass. It was a mutual ass kicking.

Things that happened in 2015:

I've successfully managed my IC through diet for a year. I don't know if I'm in remission, because I do experience pain if I get daring and eat something too spicy, or forget to pick the onions out of a dish, but it doesn't last long because I go back to eating safely.

I wrote more this year. I worked on a few short stories - though I don't know if any of them will ever be finished - and wrote a bunch about food.

I reevaluated my social media usage, unfollowed people that don't make me happy, and joined some groups and apps that do.

I started last year thinking about having kids, and that ache has only grown. I'm no closer to an answer to that question, unfortunately.

I broadened my supplement intake, and opened my mind a bit more to the woo, including acupuncture and essential oils.

I had a tiny, rather unsuccessful vegetable garden and my first flower garden ever. And I am already thinking about what to plant next year because I am a masochist.

I got to work for a dog sitter! This was an incredible amount of fun and I hope this gig continues into 2016, even if only infrequently.

I've been more honest with myself and others about my mental health. It's not great, Bob.

I've continued exercising, and even started jogging! It still baffles me.

So, I am moving forward, things are happening, even if they aren't happening at the pace I would choose.

Happy new year, friends. See you in 2016.


Monday, December 21, 2015

Current Events

I'm getting ready for xmas, which will be spent with just my immediate family.

I've managed to buy some presents, and I'm already half packed for the overnighter we're spending at my parents, but I think the truffles we were thinking of making are not going to happen because I'm already consciously keeping reserves of my energy.

I joined a facebook group for chronic migraineurs, and it's helped me feel a little more connected to the world lately. They're talking a lot about this daith piercing trend that's happening. I don't have a great track record with piercings, they take forever to heal, but I'm interested in hearing others' experiences with it. It sounded like bunk to me, especially because the daith doesn't line up with any acupuncture points for migraine, but some people are seeing positive effects so I can't help but be curious.

I haven't seen any changes in my migraines since starting the vitamin E regimen, so I won't be buying more when the bottle runs out. The St. John's Wort may have made a difference however, I found my depression to be a little easier to ride out this month, but I still felt really anxious, maybe even more anxious than I was before? I dealt with it ok, but still, it was not my favorite.

I'm having a bit of an emotional crisis over having biological children. I always thought I'd get to it, but my health, money, having a relationship, home life and financial situation that feels stable enough to bring a child into it; it's never felt right, and now I'm faced with a bit of a now or never choice. I can always adopt in the future, and that's something I'd like to do, but I can't help but feel turmoil over this choice to either possibly lose my chance to give birth or to dive into the deep end and have a child now. I need to see my dr after the new year, and all I can do is hope that she'll have another option for me.