tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91003881961418292992024-02-21T04:11:48.589-08:00Head Wise Woman-chronic migraines and other things-stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.comBlogger463125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-78508101183680289312022-02-11T13:13:00.001-08:002022-02-11T13:18:30.114-08:00I should have gotten a warranty on this body istfgEverything is different. [Trigger Warning Cancer] I'm living with my family, back in the city. It's not great for my head; I struggle to go for walks, or even sit outside. But I had to leave the forest. It's a long story.
Maybe I'll tell it if I come back here.
But, I'm not here for that story today. I'm here because I was diagnosed with secondary liver cancer. All I know so far is stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-70562892778200933512019-05-11T13:23:00.001-07:002019-05-11T13:23:38.947-07:00AroundI'm still here.
Let's see, what's happening.
I've continued to get botox. After the initial 3 rounds, my neuro asked if i was seeing 50% relief. I laughed and said no way, maybe 10%? He was disappointed by that and suggested we quit the botox and try something else. I thought about it for a few days and decided to ask to continue it. I may be only seeing 10% improvement but that's 10% more thanstephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-41875824984961700912019-01-14T08:35:00.000-08:002019-01-14T08:35:45.577-08:00School StressLook at how things can change in a week.
1/8: this shakespeare class is so intimidating. reading just the intro to the text was impossible for me yesterday, so now i'm questioning everything. i've got a week before the first assignment is due, and a few weeks to drop the course if i'm doing that poorly. even if it doesn't work out, it'll work out, i have options. but i used to be able to push stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-71205561572268019602018-12-19T05:13:00.000-08:002018-12-19T05:13:06.975-08:00Amongst Other ThingsIt has been a rough few months.
My first class back in college went well, the next quarter starts next month and i'm so happy to be back in the swing of things.
My head has me so tired all the time. or maybe it's chronic fatigue, i'm still short a blood test to confirm or deny that diagnosis.
Xmas is almost here and my anxiety is in the full holiday spirit.
I've got a shrink coming today to stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-52755786735069429422018-10-23T08:37:00.000-07:002019-05-11T13:28:20.642-07:00A Day in the LifeIt was uneventful, but i blogged a migraine day on twitter.
strong cannabis cookie, 1/2 soma, 600 mg ibuprofen, 1/2 a joint, heating pad, and now we wait. #migrainemorning #backpain #walkinglikeagnoll— Sssssteph (@stucktomyshoe) October 22, 2018
tortilla chips and avocado salsa is a fully rounded breakfast #fightme— Sssssteph (@stucktomyshoe) October 22, 2018
working on myself with stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-17089714469857305532018-09-17T16:31:00.000-07:002018-09-17T16:31:15.117-07:00Face-squinchingI meant to update here a few weeks ago, if nothing else than to maintain my lovely exercise recording streak, but i have failed. FAILED.
So we're missing a few weeks from the record. There was nothing phenomenal in there anyway. This summer has been a struggle physically.
I've been using the elliptical machine when i can't deal with the hills or the weather, but I still only managed 37 days stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-18087701878680986842018-06-05T12:40:00.001-07:002018-06-05T12:40:30.759-07:00The LatestIt's been a difficult few months and it shows in my exercise log.
Only 43 out of 90 days, and most of those were in the last few weeks. I've had some familial upheaval and the stress wore me out. The stress is still happening but I've been able to take a bit of a break from it and with any luck it'll be resolved soon.
I got an elliptical machine! I managed to tuck it in my kitchen, which has stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-34681038607166573182018-03-10T09:26:00.000-08:002018-03-10T09:26:05.906-08:00Vag of SteelI started pelvic floor therapy.
I've been having increasing trouble peeing, and from the interstitial cystitis groups i'm in i'd gleaned it was an issue with my pelvic floor. So I asked my gyno and she referred me to a therapist.
Within 10 minutes of meeting her she had her hand in my vagina. I'd expected a thorough internal massage so I was gung-ho, anything to not end up in diapers or stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-21094927351488790432018-01-09T19:04:00.000-08:002018-01-09T19:04:17.176-08:00PillbuggingI made it through the holidays with the usual amount of joy and pain. I'm lucky to have a loving family, but the migraines didn't make anything easy.
This last year has been a year of self-protection and rebuilding. I'm trying to be better about recognizing where I'm self-defeating and one of those ways I'm working on is my tendency to pillbug.
I think I made this term up, at least I can't stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-75853926143028287512017-12-10T17:21:00.000-08:002017-12-10T17:21:16.902-08:00Listen to The Head StabbingsCardio updates bring me here at least once every three months and every time I'm like... already? I miss when I used to write here every day, wish I still had that mental focus, but I have a physical strength now that I never imagined I'd have again then, so let's pretend it's a trade-off.
Per the chart, my frequency and endurance have both decreased.
I managed to get out 40 days out of 90, stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-57221299264304603962017-11-06T08:03:00.000-08:002017-11-06T08:03:41.890-08:00Distraction is a Coping SkillHey all. I don't have much going on lately. I'm still really focused on exercise, which takes up the majority of my energy.
One new thing is I've started wearing earrings again. It's been years since I could tolerate them - I guess that's part of allodynia? - between the pokey backs and how irritated my ears get from anything not stainless steel, I'd always take them out within minutes. But stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-29801051878235028882017-09-22T09:17:00.004-07:002017-09-22T09:17:31.591-07:00Cardio is my SalvationHey it's time for another exercise chart!
Not bad, not amazing, but for someone in a constant state of migraine this is not terrible at all!
What I'm not tracking is how much better I've been at keeping my house clean and how I've added strength exercises to my routine. I'm doing pushups, situps, and using weights nearly every day I don't have to focus my energy elsewhere. I'm developing stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-51344543306793194772017-08-10T20:11:00.000-07:002017-08-10T20:11:36.780-07:00Sporadic Subject Changes - Look OutI've spent a few weeks with my parents over the summer. I had to medicate way more than I would prefer to be able to do it, but it was worth it to spend the time with my mom. I also pushed myself more than I have in a while, so that was good for me, to test my limits. In the past I've struggled with visiting them because they all tend to play music or watch tv loudly and I melt down with a stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-73012380287634908722017-06-17T20:39:00.000-07:002017-06-17T20:39:15.742-07:00Progress and HopeI'm exercising more frequently, and though my stamina still isn't quite where it was, I'm really pleased with myself.
YES look at that consistency in the second half there! That's what I'm talking about. My cardio of choice is still hiking, with as much jogging on the flat and downhill bits as my head will allow; though now I've added dancing to my routine, because I like having music most stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-64790447553045704532017-06-15T11:54:00.000-07:002017-06-15T11:54:17.212-07:00Fun, Insecurity, and Sadness, All in One Post!Being invisibly ill on social media is a whole thing, I guess.
A few weekends ago I went to our local pride event. I missed the parade but we went and had a snack at the small gathering, people-watched, spun a wheel for prizes (i got nipple pasties omg), and then walked around the little downtown area for a while, had a proper lunch, and then came home. It was a few hours of fun, so much more stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-129523806859338642017-05-05T08:40:00.000-07:002017-05-05T08:40:19.003-07:00Blueberries, MaybeThe worst of my depression has officially lifted, thank zoloft. I'm still struggling with less serious symptoms like fatigue, lethargy, and negative thinking, but I haven't had a legit suicidal impulse in months, so that's pretty great.
I went to a wedding a few weeks ago. I only attended the ceremony, and went out to dinner with friends after instead of attempting the reception. I was still stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-86882979071113873632017-03-21T08:01:00.000-07:002017-03-21T08:01:04.937-07:00ActivingMy latest record of exercise has me out exactly 45 out of 90 days, when I aim to get out every day. Not bad for a sick person, but not nearly my goal. :/
Of course, I don't track the days I skip exercise to do housework or socialize or have appointments or grocery shop. Especially lately, having therapists come to my house three days a week, it takes a toll on my ability to do anything else. stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-86720227490037609442017-03-10T13:25:00.000-08:002017-03-10T13:25:18.815-08:00Oh My Barking BrainI started getting in-home medical visits about a month ago, and it's been amazing.
I had a nurse for a few weeks, just to evaluate me and hook me up with the other medpros i need to see. A social worker came - she's going to refer me to IHSS for help in my daily life, which can include housecleaning. I've also seen an occupational therapist, a speech therapist, and a physical therapist. OT is stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-79173901982236381842017-01-26T13:04:00.002-08:002017-01-26T13:04:47.516-08:00I'm Tired
I'm afraid I am still writing from an abyss of depression. I haven't fallen completely in, but I am clinging to the wall about halfway down. I'm experiencing increased head pain, fatigue, and nausea overall - which could also be from my birth control or maybe I'm anemic again... I got some blood drawn yesterday so we'll see if it shows anything. But besides the head pain, I just have no stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-12425072559526408742017-01-01T13:06:00.000-08:002017-01-01T13:06:08.051-08:00Gauging Like a lot of people, this last year left me feeling pummeled.
After the election, I let myself wallow. Now I've got to figure out how to move forward. I've got to find some peace with my fear.
As usual, exercise keeps me tethered. I've got routines I keep and I can gauge how well I'm doing by how well I've kept to them and while I've lost some threads, exercise and brushing my teeth remain stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-87140860518622202232016-10-28T18:27:00.000-07:002016-10-28T18:27:33.408-07:00Pills Pills PillsIt occurred to me the for the first time recently that I am dependent on pills for my life.
If civilization ended tomorrow, and I had no more access to birth control or anti-depressants, I would die. I would bleed out through my uterus, or cancer would grow, or my depression might win. It's not uncommon at all for people to depend on medication of course, but it's the first time in my life, stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-54676067779179622092016-09-13T10:17:00.000-07:002016-09-14T14:57:28.700-07:00Typing Into the WindThe good news is I've been exercising frequently, the bad news is that's pretty much all I'm doing.
I have been social with new people in the past month, I suppose that's new and exciting. I've been keeping up with learning spanish, y lo disfruto mucho. (I am so sorry spanish speakers, if that was a butchery of the language. I didn't say I was any good at it, I just said I'm enjoying it. Well, stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-49117993009973556272016-07-29T09:24:00.001-07:002016-07-29T09:24:18.526-07:00Wonky Socks: Better Than No SocksSummer is kicking my ass as usual.
I've regained my exercise regimen, though I'm nowhere near as fit as I was this time last year, but I just checked myfitnesspal and 20 workouts in the last 30 days is pretty good, so I'm feeling positive about it. However this morning, I started the uphill trekking part of my routine and it was BAD. Straight away I had mild nausea, disorientation, irritability,stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-14339967246604704762016-06-17T20:53:00.000-07:002016-06-17T20:54:57.482-07:00Pelvic PrognosisThe results are in and they are not good.
I had a precancerous polyp in my uterus. The treatment is what I'm already doing, progesterone therapy. I'll be rechecked in the next few months for new growth and Doc says i need to have kids now if I'm going to do it because if the growths come back they'll likely recommend hysterectomy. Dealing with this information has put me in a strange place stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-14100469659813409212016-05-24T11:02:00.000-07:002016-05-24T11:02:57.391-07:00My Uterus Had a Photo Shoot and All I Got Was This MirenaI had a hysteroscopy, d&c, polypectomy and mirena insertion. The worst part for me was the anesthesia.
My periods have been bananas so I got scoped to see what was what. They found a load of polyps, which they removed and sent off for testing, I've got two weeks for those results. They also put in a mirena, since it's my best bet for controlling my bananas periods with my current medical optionsstephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1