A squirrel leaped into my line of sight just now, clinging and half-hidden on the shadowed side of a redwood tree. It twitched its little head around in that way that most prey animals do, but as it moved, its skull seemed to change shape entirely and it became a grotesque confusion for a moment as my brain sorted out that it was not actually a squirrel but a jaybird.
This was a random occurrence, a trick of the light more than anything, but it made me think of how many times in my life that my perception has changed like that, suddenly and unexpectedly. I'll be humming along, thinking a thing is a thing, then suddenly I make a connection or see the thing from a different angle and the world shifts, everything is akimbo, and I've realized an entirely new set of parameters by which to judge whether things really are things. Atheism, existentialism, vegetarianism, socialism, feminism; these are ideas that clicked with me in a flash of understanding and before my respective epiphanies, I was a half-hearted christian, absolutist, capitalist shill for the patriarchy, without ever really thinking much about those beliefs at all. Instead I blindly accepted the opinions of the people around me as truth and found ways to justify and defend those beliefs, even if they didn't always ring quite true to me.
And that was the problem, turning a blind eye to the things that sat wrong with me, ignoring them or excusing them, more interested in staying comfortable and keeping the peace than challenging the problems I might see. Until one day, one moment changes everything and I can't go back.
I see sexism, racism, ableism, classism, etc everywhere, in the everyday speech of everyday people, in advertising and media and our clothes and even our food. Rich people get richer, poor people get poorer, but it's always the poor who are abusing the system, somehow. Unarmed black citizens are being shot by our own police while white men with guns demand their right to carry them into grocery stores. Anti-rape nail polish is a thing. Most of the meat available on supermarket shelves is from factory farms, essentially large-scale animal torture operations, and yet it's the vegans who are accused of being extreme.
I sometimes wish I could unsee it all, but that's not practical, or fair. Besides, no matter how hard I look at (or away from) that jaybird, and no matter how it may still vaguely resemble a squirrel if I squint at it out the corner of a half-shut eye, ignoring the reality won't ever change it.
And I do want to change it. I want to change it all.
More...
Showing posts with label -isms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label -isms. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Friday, April 4, 2014
Being Offline and Poor
We lost internet for a few weeks, and it was a painful reminder of how fragile my sense of connection really is.
We live way the hell up in the mountains. Our closest neighbors are within distant earshot, but not eyesight, due to the trees. I depend on the internet to keep me connected to the happenings in the world, and to my family and friends. Without it, I was totally alone. Just me and the dogs in the middle of the forest. My boyfriend would come home at the end of his day to find me wild-eyed, so eager to talk to another human that I couldn't even wait for him to get in the door.
Besides being desperate for contact, I was unable to answer surveys or look for housing, I couldn't apply for services, or look up recipes, or search for diy fixes to minor home repairs.
My neighbors are kind and allowed us to vampire off their wifi during visits, but we tried to be sparing with our usage as to not abuse our relationships. They probably wouldn't have minded, but I'd rather go without than interrupt their peace. If I was in school, however, I likely would have unapologetically set up camp.
Also during this time, we got a 48-hour notice from the water company, and had to pay a massive electric bill. The money was coming in, it was just a lot of unfortunate timing, and we're back online and mostly in the black on our utility accounts, but now we're already nearly broke for the month and are low on food. We renewed the food stamps this morning (and in an ideal world we wouldn't have ever stopped with them, but the renewal process is a pain and it seems like even when we get it right, there's a problem and we have to start all over again. It's a whole 'nother post.) and I'm not sure how long it'll take to process, but we plan to check out the free food pantry tomorrow, as long as we have enough gas to get there.
It's stressful being poor, and exhausting. I need to see a dentist, but we can't afford it. HOW is dental care not a mandatory part of health care? I'm on Medicare, WHY do I not have an affordable dental option?
And with all my woes, I'm one of the luckier ones. I'm white, I have an advocate, I have the education and access to information to protect myself, or at least to try. We have the means in this country to provide ALL of our citizens with a standard of living that should be a shining example of what civilized behavior and compassion look like. But instead, we ignore, relocate, imprison, mock, blame and fail our poor, while the rich get richer every day.
More...
We live way the hell up in the mountains. Our closest neighbors are within distant earshot, but not eyesight, due to the trees. I depend on the internet to keep me connected to the happenings in the world, and to my family and friends. Without it, I was totally alone. Just me and the dogs in the middle of the forest. My boyfriend would come home at the end of his day to find me wild-eyed, so eager to talk to another human that I couldn't even wait for him to get in the door.
Besides being desperate for contact, I was unable to answer surveys or look for housing, I couldn't apply for services, or look up recipes, or search for diy fixes to minor home repairs.
My neighbors are kind and allowed us to vampire off their wifi during visits, but we tried to be sparing with our usage as to not abuse our relationships. They probably wouldn't have minded, but I'd rather go without than interrupt their peace. If I was in school, however, I likely would have unapologetically set up camp.
Also during this time, we got a 48-hour notice from the water company, and had to pay a massive electric bill. The money was coming in, it was just a lot of unfortunate timing, and we're back online and mostly in the black on our utility accounts, but now we're already nearly broke for the month and are low on food. We renewed the food stamps this morning (and in an ideal world we wouldn't have ever stopped with them, but the renewal process is a pain and it seems like even when we get it right, there's a problem and we have to start all over again. It's a whole 'nother post.) and I'm not sure how long it'll take to process, but we plan to check out the free food pantry tomorrow, as long as we have enough gas to get there.
It's stressful being poor, and exhausting. I need to see a dentist, but we can't afford it. HOW is dental care not a mandatory part of health care? I'm on Medicare, WHY do I not have an affordable dental option?
And with all my woes, I'm one of the luckier ones. I'm white, I have an advocate, I have the education and access to information to protect myself, or at least to try. We have the means in this country to provide ALL of our citizens with a standard of living that should be a shining example of what civilized behavior and compassion look like. But instead, we ignore, relocate, imprison, mock, blame and fail our poor, while the rich get richer every day.
More...
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Thoughts on TNG and Agency
Well, Star Trek: The Next Generation made it to the seventh season before I felt the need to write about its problems. I'd love to say it's because the writing is so progressive, I have nothing to complain about, but it's much more true that after The Original Series, I was just relieved that the women had real jobs and weren't all yeomen in tiny skirts taking drinks orders.
On the downside, Deanna Troi's uniform for the first six seasons is ridiculous, and they hardly ever reference her rank, which is Lieutenant Commander, btw, equivalent with Data and La Forge. And La Forge is a total Nice Guy, has really creepy relationships with women, and actually got a woman to apologize to him for being offended at his serious invasion of her privacy and agency ("Galaxy's Child", Season 4 ep 16), while never really apologizing to her for his inappropriate behavior with her holographic double ("Booby Trap", Season 3 Ep 6). I spent those episodes making this face: :/
I love Troi and Riker's relationship, they are supportive and loving, even while they know they can't be together. I LOVE Pulaski, her defiance of authority was a joy to behold, particularly since the actress was one of the many women used as props and foils on TOS. I love how the franchise recycles its actors, it's a delightful scavenger hunt to find actors from one series playing a different character on another.
I have a love/hate relationship with Dr. Beverly Crusher, and that makes me love her even harder. I can't help but be interested in characters that aren't written as simply good or bad, characters that have enough depth to make me feel conflicted over them, especially female characters, because let's not kid ourselves, we still aren't getting enough real-life representations of women in the media. Dr. Crusher could be shrill, pious, and stubborn, and something in the actress' speech has always tripped me up, and of course, there's the awkward ghost sex. ("Sub Rosa", Season 7 Ep 14). But her smaller, subtle moments are quite beautiful and I'm enjoying her relationship with Picard immensely.
Ensign Ro and Guinan have been favorites of mine since childhood and I'm so happy that they've held up over time. Guinan is even better than I remember and Ro is almost painful to watch, the actress plays her so raw. Worf has somehow become a major favorite, when I was a kid I was bored by his storylines, but now I kind of get him. And of course, Worf has the best comedic moments, and I'm a sucker for a laugh.
Riker constantly reminds me of James T. Kirk, or what he could have been if Shatner hadn't smarmed it all up. He likes the ladies, and he's only a little gross about it, and he can be condescending, but compared to Kirk, he's downright respectful. He's confident, brave, and sometimes brash, but he makes room for other people, whereas Kirk (or maybe Shat) was fighting to dominate every scene.
And I love Picard more than anyone ever. Patrick Stewart makes TOS what it is.
Wow, that was a lot of Star Trek feelings, and I haven't even gotten to my point yet.
MY POINT:
I just watched a Data-centric episode called "Inheritance" (Season 7, ep 10) that really pissed me off. In it, Data is reunited with his mother, Juliana, the woman who helped his maker, Dr. Soong, create Data and his brother. Over the course of the episode (SPOILERS FOR A 20 YEAR OLD SHOW WATCH OUT) Data finds out that she is actually an android as well, the human Juliana died and Dr. Soong created her in his dead wife's image, with his dead wife's memories. He designed her to appear human in every way, including to eventually die of whatever natural causes, and never told her that she was an artificial life form. Dr. Soong's holographic projection implored Data to continue the ruse, so she could live out her life "happily", as a human. So, Data had a decision to make.
I just knew he wasn't going to tell her. To their credit, the senior staff had a meeting and presented all the issues of agency that are making me feel sick to my stomach, but Data chose to keep her ignorant in the end, and it was coated with a nice veneer of romanticism and a son's caring for his mother. AND she was played by the glorious Fionnula Flanagan, who is such a badass in so many of her roles. It is very upsetting to me that they just sent her on her way, to live her life in ignorance of her own state of being, to possibly find out in some other way anyhow. Oh, this episode ticked me off.
It's like not telling a cancer patient she's terminal, under the guise of letting her spend the time she has left happy. Except, that's taking away a person's choice. That dying person might want the opportunity to say goodbye to a certain person, or to go sky diving. Juliana might have wanted to be a super-cyborg if given the opportunity, maybe she'd have wanted to be reprogrammed to run search and rescue operations, or to obtain scientific data from extreme situations, or maybe she would have decided to live out her life as a regular old lady with a more interesting past than most. But, they took away that choice for her, and I really, really wish they had gone the other direction.
But no. She smiled beatifically at her son from the transporter pad, satisfied that she had made good on her relationship with him before she left him again, probably forever, completely unaware of who she was. I felt sick at his betrayal, that the whole room knew she wasn't human, except for the woman herself.
Bringing it back to the blog: There's a loss of agency that happens when a person is as sick as I am. I can't make decisions for myself all the time, and with the significant cognitive impairment that often comes with my migraines, I feel vulnerable letting myself be taken care of by others. I don't want to be cared for like a child, and I want to be the person who is the most in charge of my life. Like Juliana, it would be too easy for those with more power to manipulate my life to suit their needs, and that is very scary to me, though it's never happened to my knowledge.
Our right to choose how we live our lives should be one of our most sacred birthrights, but too often, when a person is disabled (or any minority group, really: gay, black, female, etc) their agency can be taken away without a thought, because the majority always knows better.
More...
On the downside, Deanna Troi's uniform for the first six seasons is ridiculous, and they hardly ever reference her rank, which is Lieutenant Commander, btw, equivalent with Data and La Forge. And La Forge is a total Nice Guy, has really creepy relationships with women, and actually got a woman to apologize to him for being offended at his serious invasion of her privacy and agency ("Galaxy's Child", Season 4 ep 16), while never really apologizing to her for his inappropriate behavior with her holographic double ("Booby Trap", Season 3 Ep 6). I spent those episodes making this face: :/
I love Troi and Riker's relationship, they are supportive and loving, even while they know they can't be together. I LOVE Pulaski, her defiance of authority was a joy to behold, particularly since the actress was one of the many women used as props and foils on TOS. I love how the franchise recycles its actors, it's a delightful scavenger hunt to find actors from one series playing a different character on another.
I have a love/hate relationship with Dr. Beverly Crusher, and that makes me love her even harder. I can't help but be interested in characters that aren't written as simply good or bad, characters that have enough depth to make me feel conflicted over them, especially female characters, because let's not kid ourselves, we still aren't getting enough real-life representations of women in the media. Dr. Crusher could be shrill, pious, and stubborn, and something in the actress' speech has always tripped me up, and of course, there's the awkward ghost sex. ("Sub Rosa", Season 7 Ep 14). But her smaller, subtle moments are quite beautiful and I'm enjoying her relationship with Picard immensely.
Ensign Ro and Guinan have been favorites of mine since childhood and I'm so happy that they've held up over time. Guinan is even better than I remember and Ro is almost painful to watch, the actress plays her so raw. Worf has somehow become a major favorite, when I was a kid I was bored by his storylines, but now I kind of get him. And of course, Worf has the best comedic moments, and I'm a sucker for a laugh.
Riker constantly reminds me of James T. Kirk, or what he could have been if Shatner hadn't smarmed it all up. He likes the ladies, and he's only a little gross about it, and he can be condescending, but compared to Kirk, he's downright respectful. He's confident, brave, and sometimes brash, but he makes room for other people, whereas Kirk (or maybe Shat) was fighting to dominate every scene.
And I love Picard more than anyone ever. Patrick Stewart makes TOS what it is.
Wow, that was a lot of Star Trek feelings, and I haven't even gotten to my point yet.
MY POINT:
I just watched a Data-centric episode called "Inheritance" (Season 7, ep 10) that really pissed me off. In it, Data is reunited with his mother, Juliana, the woman who helped his maker, Dr. Soong, create Data and his brother. Over the course of the episode (SPOILERS FOR A 20 YEAR OLD SHOW WATCH OUT) Data finds out that she is actually an android as well, the human Juliana died and Dr. Soong created her in his dead wife's image, with his dead wife's memories. He designed her to appear human in every way, including to eventually die of whatever natural causes, and never told her that she was an artificial life form. Dr. Soong's holographic projection implored Data to continue the ruse, so she could live out her life "happily", as a human. So, Data had a decision to make.
I just knew he wasn't going to tell her. To their credit, the senior staff had a meeting and presented all the issues of agency that are making me feel sick to my stomach, but Data chose to keep her ignorant in the end, and it was coated with a nice veneer of romanticism and a son's caring for his mother. AND she was played by the glorious Fionnula Flanagan, who is such a badass in so many of her roles. It is very upsetting to me that they just sent her on her way, to live her life in ignorance of her own state of being, to possibly find out in some other way anyhow. Oh, this episode ticked me off.
It's like not telling a cancer patient she's terminal, under the guise of letting her spend the time she has left happy. Except, that's taking away a person's choice. That dying person might want the opportunity to say goodbye to a certain person, or to go sky diving. Juliana might have wanted to be a super-cyborg if given the opportunity, maybe she'd have wanted to be reprogrammed to run search and rescue operations, or to obtain scientific data from extreme situations, or maybe she would have decided to live out her life as a regular old lady with a more interesting past than most. But, they took away that choice for her, and I really, really wish they had gone the other direction.
But no. She smiled beatifically at her son from the transporter pad, satisfied that she had made good on her relationship with him before she left him again, probably forever, completely unaware of who she was. I felt sick at his betrayal, that the whole room knew she wasn't human, except for the woman herself.
Bringing it back to the blog: There's a loss of agency that happens when a person is as sick as I am. I can't make decisions for myself all the time, and with the significant cognitive impairment that often comes with my migraines, I feel vulnerable letting myself be taken care of by others. I don't want to be cared for like a child, and I want to be the person who is the most in charge of my life. Like Juliana, it would be too easy for those with more power to manipulate my life to suit their needs, and that is very scary to me, though it's never happened to my knowledge.
Our right to choose how we live our lives should be one of our most sacred birthrights, but too often, when a person is disabled (or any minority group, really: gay, black, female, etc) their agency can be taken away without a thought, because the majority always knows better.
More...
Friday, August 16, 2013
Short Hair
I cut all my hair off again.
We cut it at home, my boyfriend and I, and we're both kind of shocked it came out well. I wrapped an old shower curtain around me, we buzzed the sides and back to an inch and scissor-cut the top into long pixie. I like it very much. Oddly, this short style feels more feminine to me than my long hair did and I actually feel more comfortable with short hair, though I've had hair past my shoulders for 95% of my life.
For a while now, I've been feeling disconnected from my own image. Pictures don't look like me, though I know rationally that they do. Even the face I see in the mirror only resembles my own. She is older, sadder, fatter, uglier, and I feel bad for that woman whenever I catch her image. Her clothes fit badly, her hair is unstyled, and she always looks tired. As a person who has struggled with body image and disordered eating, I've been unsure how to become comfortable with myself again.
But, cutting my hair has helped realign my mind and my body somewhat. I look in the mirror and I'm finally seeing myself again, not just a haggard, sick, fat, old, tired version of myself, but the real me. I mean, I can still see the weight, the exhaustion, how migraines have affected me and how my skin is changing as I'm seeing the first signs of middle age approaching, but it's not all I see. My face is mine again, without all that weight attached to it. Who knew I was just trapped under all that hair?
I do miss elaborate braids and wearing it all fancy, but I haven't been able to wear my hair like that in years anyway, my constant scalp tenderness makes any but the loosest of low ponytails intolerable. Besides, I'm always wearing a hat outside the house, what's the point of styling my hair to just smush it down?
I was hoping to see some migraine benefits from lopping it all off, but no dice. In fact, I've had a tension-like headache around the back of my head ever since we cut it, almost as if my scalp misses the weight.
The reactions I've gotten from other people have been entertaining. My mother hates it, but she always hates my hair short, so part of the fun of cutting it has always been watching her battle against herself to say something nice. She fights the urge to criticize me, and I know it really bothers her that HER mother (my grandma) gives my mom a hard time for straightening her hair, so she recognizes the pattern enough to not want to repeat it. My grandma thinks curls are THE THING and can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want them and makes a comment nearly every time they see each other. Therefore, my mom strives to be supportive of my hair choices, but sometimes makes this pursed-lips disappointed face, sighs, and touches my head like she's wistfully recalling when my hair was past my butt and took up HOURS of every day. I will never have hair that long again, sorry mom.
So, for the success of my new short 'do, I would like to thank the following people: Anne Hathaway and Ginnifer Goodwin for sporting the same style and being photographed from a thousand angles. The hairstylists I used to work for, and their techniques that I copied. Youtube. My boyfriend, for his epic patience. And C, for buzzing her own head and making it look like NBD.
Cutting my hair off was a feminist act, for me. So many people have discouraged me from going short, they said my face would look fatter (oh no!) or I would look like a lesbian (OH NO!), and those people were both assholes and wrong, because going shorter actually frames my face better, and sexuality can not be determined from hair length.
Moral of my story: If you want short hair: cut it. Or pay someone else to, but don't listen to the naysayers. It's hair, worst case: it'll grow back.
More...
We cut it at home, my boyfriend and I, and we're both kind of shocked it came out well. I wrapped an old shower curtain around me, we buzzed the sides and back to an inch and scissor-cut the top into long pixie. I like it very much. Oddly, this short style feels more feminine to me than my long hair did and I actually feel more comfortable with short hair, though I've had hair past my shoulders for 95% of my life.
For a while now, I've been feeling disconnected from my own image. Pictures don't look like me, though I know rationally that they do. Even the face I see in the mirror only resembles my own. She is older, sadder, fatter, uglier, and I feel bad for that woman whenever I catch her image. Her clothes fit badly, her hair is unstyled, and she always looks tired. As a person who has struggled with body image and disordered eating, I've been unsure how to become comfortable with myself again.
But, cutting my hair has helped realign my mind and my body somewhat. I look in the mirror and I'm finally seeing myself again, not just a haggard, sick, fat, old, tired version of myself, but the real me. I mean, I can still see the weight, the exhaustion, how migraines have affected me and how my skin is changing as I'm seeing the first signs of middle age approaching, but it's not all I see. My face is mine again, without all that weight attached to it. Who knew I was just trapped under all that hair?
I do miss elaborate braids and wearing it all fancy, but I haven't been able to wear my hair like that in years anyway, my constant scalp tenderness makes any but the loosest of low ponytails intolerable. Besides, I'm always wearing a hat outside the house, what's the point of styling my hair to just smush it down?
I was hoping to see some migraine benefits from lopping it all off, but no dice. In fact, I've had a tension-like headache around the back of my head ever since we cut it, almost as if my scalp misses the weight.
The reactions I've gotten from other people have been entertaining. My mother hates it, but she always hates my hair short, so part of the fun of cutting it has always been watching her battle against herself to say something nice. She fights the urge to criticize me, and I know it really bothers her that HER mother (my grandma) gives my mom a hard time for straightening her hair, so she recognizes the pattern enough to not want to repeat it. My grandma thinks curls are THE THING and can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want them and makes a comment nearly every time they see each other. Therefore, my mom strives to be supportive of my hair choices, but sometimes makes this pursed-lips disappointed face, sighs, and touches my head like she's wistfully recalling when my hair was past my butt and took up HOURS of every day. I will never have hair that long again, sorry mom.
So, for the success of my new short 'do, I would like to thank the following people: Anne Hathaway and Ginnifer Goodwin for sporting the same style and being photographed from a thousand angles. The hairstylists I used to work for, and their techniques that I copied. Youtube. My boyfriend, for his epic patience. And C, for buzzing her own head and making it look like NBD.
Cutting my hair off was a feminist act, for me. So many people have discouraged me from going short, they said my face would look fatter (oh no!) or I would look like a lesbian (OH NO!), and those people were both assholes and wrong, because going shorter actually frames my face better, and sexuality can not be determined from hair length.
Moral of my story: If you want short hair: cut it. Or pay someone else to, but don't listen to the naysayers. It's hair, worst case: it'll grow back.
More...
Monday, July 8, 2013
Book Reviews & Rants
I read paper books. Does that make me old-timey?
The Migraine Brain by Carolyn Bernstein, MD is an excellent resource. I binge-read it in one day and kept catching myself nodding in agreement with the life changes this book suggests. It's also obvious that this book is written by someone with first-hand experience with migraines, preventing and dealing with them, not just someone who treats them. Read it.
It's All in my Head by Paula Kamen is another good read about a woman with chronic headaches and her journey for treatment and enlightenment. I found it a good mix of sad and funny and hopeful and cynical. Read it.
The Food Revolution: How Your Diet Can Help Save Your Life and Our World by John Robbins is one of a long list of books of this type I've consumed. This one is a bit sensationalist at times, the juxtapositions of quotes from the meat and dairy industries alongside starkly contradicting quotes from government agencies and scientists are entertaining and sometimes difficult to stomach, but this book lays out the facts pretty well. We are what we eat, and if we aren't making our food responsibly, and consuming it responsibly, we'll suffer the consequences. READ IT.
Migraine by Oliver Sacks had a lot of good information, and I thought it was insightful, particularly in regards to more uncommon symptoms, until I got to the sections dedicated to chronic migraine sufferers. Let me save you the trouble. The gist was that many chronic migraineurs are emotionally unstable or in bad home environments and once they escape those situations -- TA DAH! -- they feel so much better. I've heard theories like this over and over, from doctors and civilians alike, and it never fails to get my hackles up. Check out this excerpt:
"[O]f which they may or may not be aware". This is patronizing, and I'm so tired of being treated like I just need to have a long talk with a shrink, but it's good to know where the idea came from. I don't think Mr. Sacks invented the "migraineurs as repressed neurotics" trope, but I sure wish he didn't reinforce it. This is the book the doctors have all read! And while he has a lengthy bibliography, I'm not going to go hunting for the source of the above clinical observations, and instead I'll issue a challenge: citation needed. I need to know about these studies done on chronic migraineurs and their unresolved emotional problems of which they aren't even aware.
People in chronic pain may have less emotional control than those who are not, true. People who live in unhealthy home environments may have trouble getting proper medical care, also true. But correlation is not causation, and the inverse of what the author suggests is more probable: that many people, from all walks of life, experience emotional instability, or a difficult home life, but chronic migraineurs, like any person with a significant disability, can have an infinitely more difficult time extricating themselves from those situations. I'd bet that in these situations that the author describes, the migraines have more often led to, or at least contributed to, the life misery, not the other way around.
If I could omit these sections from the book, I might recommend it to a new migraineur as well as I would most of the other migraine tomes I've read. But, the ableism and privilege of the hysterical migraine theory made me want to throw it in the fire, so at the very least, skip those parts.
More...
The Migraine Brain by Carolyn Bernstein, MD is an excellent resource. I binge-read it in one day and kept catching myself nodding in agreement with the life changes this book suggests. It's also obvious that this book is written by someone with first-hand experience with migraines, preventing and dealing with them, not just someone who treats them. Read it.
It's All in my Head by Paula Kamen is another good read about a woman with chronic headaches and her journey for treatment and enlightenment. I found it a good mix of sad and funny and hopeful and cynical. Read it.
The Food Revolution: How Your Diet Can Help Save Your Life and Our World by John Robbins is one of a long list of books of this type I've consumed. This one is a bit sensationalist at times, the juxtapositions of quotes from the meat and dairy industries alongside starkly contradicting quotes from government agencies and scientists are entertaining and sometimes difficult to stomach, but this book lays out the facts pretty well. We are what we eat, and if we aren't making our food responsibly, and consuming it responsibly, we'll suffer the consequences. READ IT.
Migraine by Oliver Sacks had a lot of good information, and I thought it was insightful, particularly in regards to more uncommon symptoms, until I got to the sections dedicated to chronic migraine sufferers. Let me save you the trouble. The gist was that many chronic migraineurs are emotionally unstable or in bad home environments and once they escape those situations -- TA DAH! -- they feel so much better. I've heard theories like this over and over, from doctors and civilians alike, and it never fails to get my hackles up. Check out this excerpt:
Clinical observation of migraine patterns indicates that a majority of patients with extremely frequent, severe, intractable migraines are caught in a situation of severe emotional stress or conflict (of which they may or may not be aware) and that this drives the migraine as a psychosomatic expression of their underlying emotional problems. (249)
"[O]f which they may or may not be aware". This is patronizing, and I'm so tired of being treated like I just need to have a long talk with a shrink, but it's good to know where the idea came from. I don't think Mr. Sacks invented the "migraineurs as repressed neurotics" trope, but I sure wish he didn't reinforce it. This is the book the doctors have all read! And while he has a lengthy bibliography, I'm not going to go hunting for the source of the above clinical observations, and instead I'll issue a challenge: citation needed. I need to know about these studies done on chronic migraineurs and their unresolved emotional problems of which they aren't even aware.
People in chronic pain may have less emotional control than those who are not, true. People who live in unhealthy home environments may have trouble getting proper medical care, also true. But correlation is not causation, and the inverse of what the author suggests is more probable: that many people, from all walks of life, experience emotional instability, or a difficult home life, but chronic migraineurs, like any person with a significant disability, can have an infinitely more difficult time extricating themselves from those situations. I'd bet that in these situations that the author describes, the migraines have more often led to, or at least contributed to, the life misery, not the other way around.
If I could omit these sections from the book, I might recommend it to a new migraineur as well as I would most of the other migraine tomes I've read. But, the ableism and privilege of the hysterical migraine theory made me want to throw it in the fire, so at the very least, skip those parts.
More...
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
The Mountain Witch
My friends have a new nickname for me. It's said with love.
So, I used to be a fairly normal woman in her twenties. I lived in the city, I went out with friends, I drank a few beers, went to family barbecues, and worked overtime when I could get it. Now, I am a strange woman in her thirties. I hide up in the mountains, and would outright refuse to come down if I could help it. I don't have many visitors, I spend a lot of time by myself on the computer, or with the dogs, roaming the forest as much as I can, which can mean I don't speak a full sentence or see another person for hours at a time. I once went two days. I love the solitude more than I thought it was possible to love solitude. The peace is literal and soul-easing, it's indescribable. So, this total change in life circumstances and living situation--besides my abundance of quirk--has earned me the title of The Mountain Witch, among some very clever friends of mine, and I think that may be the most accurate nickname I've ever been given.
In addition to the forest-recluse act I've got going on, I've also embraced feminism fiercely over the past few years, so the witch part is particularly gratifying. I don't wear makeup, I don't shave my legs as often as I'm supposed to, and I shop at thrift stores. I wave at my infrequently seen neighbors in sometimes strange, but always comfortable, clothes and most assuredly disheveled hair. The dogs follow me like familiars, sometimes even the neighbor's dogs. I step gently on the forest floor of dried fronds, crunchy leaves, and small sticks, barely making a sound. Maybe I am a witch. If so, I still have a few more powers to accumulate. I'd love to be able to walk into the forest and come out with a handful of herbs for tea. Flying would also be great.
In my class, which is wrapping up soon, we read Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison and I think I might be Pilate. At least, I hope I am.
More...
So, I used to be a fairly normal woman in her twenties. I lived in the city, I went out with friends, I drank a few beers, went to family barbecues, and worked overtime when I could get it. Now, I am a strange woman in her thirties. I hide up in the mountains, and would outright refuse to come down if I could help it. I don't have many visitors, I spend a lot of time by myself on the computer, or with the dogs, roaming the forest as much as I can, which can mean I don't speak a full sentence or see another person for hours at a time. I once went two days. I love the solitude more than I thought it was possible to love solitude. The peace is literal and soul-easing, it's indescribable. So, this total change in life circumstances and living situation--besides my abundance of quirk--has earned me the title of The Mountain Witch, among some very clever friends of mine, and I think that may be the most accurate nickname I've ever been given.
In addition to the forest-recluse act I've got going on, I've also embraced feminism fiercely over the past few years, so the witch part is particularly gratifying. I don't wear makeup, I don't shave my legs as often as I'm supposed to, and I shop at thrift stores. I wave at my infrequently seen neighbors in sometimes strange, but always comfortable, clothes and most assuredly disheveled hair. The dogs follow me like familiars, sometimes even the neighbor's dogs. I step gently on the forest floor of dried fronds, crunchy leaves, and small sticks, barely making a sound. Maybe I am a witch. If so, I still have a few more powers to accumulate. I'd love to be able to walk into the forest and come out with a handful of herbs for tea. Flying would also be great.
In my class, which is wrapping up soon, we read Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison and I think I might be Pilate. At least, I hope I am.
More...
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Skipping Hempcon
So, there's this big medical cannabis convention that comes to town every few months to a year, and I went once before but it was pretty uncomfortable for me, as far as noise and seating and lights and overall sensory overload. The samples were awesome, the networking was cool, the different booths were interesting, and I sure did love the chance to try out a huge variety of products, but since my first visit, it seems things have changed.
Suddenly, this medical marijuana expo has become more than a little about exploiting women. Joining the ranks of car shows and comic-con, individual booths hire women to be friendly and wear scanty clothing, and the event itself hosts contests for women that are little more than wet t-shirt contests.
The sexual exploitation of women has nothing to do with marijuana, medical or otherwise, but that it's featured so heavily at an industry event that features professional speakers and the opportunity for patients to connect with caregivers, is really disappointing.
I wrote an email to the generic info address listed on their website. It was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, I honestly didn't expect to make a difference, but I thought I should say what is true and what is true is that the easy sexualization of women makes a lot of people uncomfortable, and it's particularly inappropriate in a setting that is supposed to be for the MEDICAL cannabis industry. Do we have women in bikinis at diabetes conferences? I'm pretty sure not. Anyway, here's how the emailing went down, verbatim, and it gets all kinds of [sic] down there, be warned.
steph: Hi there, I'm looking at your website and noted a few pictures of scantily clad women in provocative poses. Will there also be scantily clad men at the San Jose Hempcon on 4/20? If so, you should feature photos of them in your advertising, it would be a huge draw to at least half of the population. If there will not be scantily clad men, I would like to request them. Besides, you guys wouldn't want to be perpetuating sexism, would you? Thanks!
Hempcon: Oh please.
steph: oh please.. accept progressive ideas and have a sense of humor about your own failings?
Hempcon: Failings ? A multi-A market Business to consumers MM Convention.
And what have you contributed ?
steph:Wow. I'm really disappointed in your hostile response, here. I'm giving you and your event constructive criticism. I'm not being nasty or rude. I even tried to be a little funny, to take the edge off. Admitting your event has an element to it that is sexist and likely makes at least a portion of your patrons uncomfortable would be a good thing. I don't expect it to change, but I do expect it to be at least respectfully acknowledged.
Hempcon: So sensitive Ms. [steph]? Use your Willed Effort some Where else.
We have In "Compassionate Intent - contributed ",..more to the medical marijuana cannabis Industry In California and Abroad than you can ever imagine.
The Hempcon convention Allows the MM Cannabis Industry to come together for 3 days to advertise,brand,market,network,promote And sell their products & services to thousands of pro-positive 420 compassionate consumers In a well organized,sare & comfortable environment. And If We Have T&A on The Website -so Be It.
Unless You are in The Business To Finance Research,Develop,Launch ,Produce and promote A multi-Market Million Dollar Trade Show, Keep The Line Clear.
Emerson D. Waters
Hempcon Senior Business Relations
steph: Should I attribute quotes to Emerson D. Waters?
Hempcon: ...
I stopped at this point, he never replied to my last email and obviously wasn't interested in opening a dialogue about how to make his event more welcoming to paying customers, and that's sad for him, the event, and the industry. Perhaps I shouldn't have started out with the humorous tone, maybe my super-professional voice would have gotten better results, but I doubt that. People who make money off the exploitation of others are rarely looking to change. But I stood up and said what was true, and now I'm standing up again to say it louder:
This is not ok.
And I will not stop until the sexual objectification of my gender stops. I'll probably be at it until I die, and I'll meet a hundred more condescending, sexist guys like old Emerson up there, but they will not shut me up and they sure as hell won't keep us down. The oppressors of women and other minorities will eventually go out of fashion, be labeled for the bigoted, embarrassing dinosaurs they are, and when they all finally die off, society will be better for it, and we will rejoice.
More...
Suddenly, this medical marijuana expo has become more than a little about exploiting women. Joining the ranks of car shows and comic-con, individual booths hire women to be friendly and wear scanty clothing, and the event itself hosts contests for women that are little more than wet t-shirt contests.
The sexual exploitation of women has nothing to do with marijuana, medical or otherwise, but that it's featured so heavily at an industry event that features professional speakers and the opportunity for patients to connect with caregivers, is really disappointing.
I wrote an email to the generic info address listed on their website. It was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, I honestly didn't expect to make a difference, but I thought I should say what is true and what is true is that the easy sexualization of women makes a lot of people uncomfortable, and it's particularly inappropriate in a setting that is supposed to be for the MEDICAL cannabis industry. Do we have women in bikinis at diabetes conferences? I'm pretty sure not. Anyway, here's how the emailing went down, verbatim, and it gets all kinds of [sic] down there, be warned.
steph: Hi there, I'm looking at your website and noted a few pictures of scantily clad women in provocative poses. Will there also be scantily clad men at the San Jose Hempcon on 4/20? If so, you should feature photos of them in your advertising, it would be a huge draw to at least half of the population. If there will not be scantily clad men, I would like to request them. Besides, you guys wouldn't want to be perpetuating sexism, would you? Thanks!
Hempcon: Oh please.
steph: oh please.. accept progressive ideas and have a sense of humor about your own failings?
Hempcon: Failings ? A multi-A market Business to consumers MM Convention.
And what have you contributed ?
steph:Wow. I'm really disappointed in your hostile response, here. I'm giving you and your event constructive criticism. I'm not being nasty or rude. I even tried to be a little funny, to take the edge off. Admitting your event has an element to it that is sexist and likely makes at least a portion of your patrons uncomfortable would be a good thing. I don't expect it to change, but I do expect it to be at least respectfully acknowledged.
Hempcon: So sensitive Ms. [steph]? Use your Willed Effort some Where else.
We have In "Compassionate Intent - contributed ",..more to the medical marijuana cannabis Industry In California and Abroad than you can ever imagine.
The Hempcon convention Allows the MM Cannabis Industry to come together for 3 days to advertise,brand,market,network,promote And sell their products & services to thousands of pro-positive 420 compassionate consumers In a well organized,sare & comfortable environment. And If We Have T&A on The Website -so Be It.
Unless You are in The Business To Finance Research,Develop,Launch ,Produce and promote A multi-Market Million Dollar Trade Show, Keep The Line Clear.
Emerson D. Waters
Hempcon Senior Business Relations
steph: Should I attribute quotes to Emerson D. Waters?
Hempcon: ...
I stopped at this point, he never replied to my last email and obviously wasn't interested in opening a dialogue about how to make his event more welcoming to paying customers, and that's sad for him, the event, and the industry. Perhaps I shouldn't have started out with the humorous tone, maybe my super-professional voice would have gotten better results, but I doubt that. People who make money off the exploitation of others are rarely looking to change. But I stood up and said what was true, and now I'm standing up again to say it louder:
This is not ok.
And I will not stop until the sexual objectification of my gender stops. I'll probably be at it until I die, and I'll meet a hundred more condescending, sexist guys like old Emerson up there, but they will not shut me up and they sure as hell won't keep us down. The oppressors of women and other minorities will eventually go out of fashion, be labeled for the bigoted, embarrassing dinosaurs they are, and when they all finally die off, society will be better for it, and we will rejoice.
More...
Friday, December 21, 2012
The Power of Choice
With the next episode I watched, Star Trek disproved nearly every statement I made about the show in my last post. And then it got real personal.
In The Menagerie, Parts 1 & 2, Spock goes rogue, losing his crown of sensibility, and every woman is treated as respectfully as the men (though one is still particularly scantily clad). There's even a female first officer, who is lauded as being the most experienced officer on the ship! (This is the future Lwaxana Troi of TNG, FYI.) Kirk is minimally featured, as the episode is predominately flashbacks to Spock's experience with his former captain, Pike, who is not at all grabby of women or smarmy with his crew and I wish he could be the captain forever.
But no. And also, he's a paraplegic now, unable to communicate save for a light on the front of his "futuristic wheelchair" that blinks once for yes and twice for no. Despite that method of communication, most of the people around him treat him as though he is unreachable, as if there's no possible way for the man to have a life.
Spock figures out a way for Pike to have a more able-bodied life, but instead of asking for Pike's permission, he KIDNAPS HIM, and the whole time Pike is blinking twice for NO NO NO, which I found horrifying. The disabled man has no agency, and his able-bodied friend thinks he knows what's best for him and there's no reason to consult the disabled guy anyway, what, is he going to blink at us? RAGE.
Of course, it ends happily, and Spock's deception is mostly used as a fuel for dramatic effect, but that drama is at the cost of a man's dignity and freedom of choice.
My partner is my caregiver, and sometimes we have to have conversations about agency. He has to make some decisions for me, I'm not always capable of higher reasoning in a moment, but even when I am, there have been times when he's forgotten to consult me. At a doctor's office, he and the doctor have agreed on a plan of treatment, were pleased as punch with themselves to have solved the next few months for me, only to look baffled when I disagreed vehemently. As if they forgot I might have a say in my own life. Luckily, my boyfriend has recognized when this happens and always immediately backs me up. It's a rare occurrence, but it's still rather frightening in those moments before my freedom of choice is acknowledged.
Our choices are so easily taken away, and it's terrifying how quickly the opinions of people with disabilities or illness** can be silenced and ignored. Just because we don't fit the default mold of a white, able-bodied, cis, male, bootstrapping capitalist, doesn't mean we shouldn't have absolute agency over our own lives, no matter how different we may seem.
** also, this stands for people of color, people of religious and racial minorities, women, and those of the lgbt etc persuasion. We should all be able to choose for ourselves.
More...
In The Menagerie, Parts 1 & 2, Spock goes rogue, losing his crown of sensibility, and every woman is treated as respectfully as the men (though one is still particularly scantily clad). There's even a female first officer, who is lauded as being the most experienced officer on the ship! (This is the future Lwaxana Troi of TNG, FYI.) Kirk is minimally featured, as the episode is predominately flashbacks to Spock's experience with his former captain, Pike, who is not at all grabby of women or smarmy with his crew and I wish he could be the captain forever.
But no. And also, he's a paraplegic now, unable to communicate save for a light on the front of his "futuristic wheelchair" that blinks once for yes and twice for no. Despite that method of communication, most of the people around him treat him as though he is unreachable, as if there's no possible way for the man to have a life.
Spock figures out a way for Pike to have a more able-bodied life, but instead of asking for Pike's permission, he KIDNAPS HIM, and the whole time Pike is blinking twice for NO NO NO, which I found horrifying. The disabled man has no agency, and his able-bodied friend thinks he knows what's best for him and there's no reason to consult the disabled guy anyway, what, is he going to blink at us? RAGE.
Of course, it ends happily, and Spock's deception is mostly used as a fuel for dramatic effect, but that drama is at the cost of a man's dignity and freedom of choice.
My partner is my caregiver, and sometimes we have to have conversations about agency. He has to make some decisions for me, I'm not always capable of higher reasoning in a moment, but even when I am, there have been times when he's forgotten to consult me. At a doctor's office, he and the doctor have agreed on a plan of treatment, were pleased as punch with themselves to have solved the next few months for me, only to look baffled when I disagreed vehemently. As if they forgot I might have a say in my own life. Luckily, my boyfriend has recognized when this happens and always immediately backs me up. It's a rare occurrence, but it's still rather frightening in those moments before my freedom of choice is acknowledged.
Our choices are so easily taken away, and it's terrifying how quickly the opinions of people with disabilities or illness** can be silenced and ignored. Just because we don't fit the default mold of a white, able-bodied, cis, male, bootstrapping capitalist, doesn't mean we shouldn't have absolute agency over our own lives, no matter how different we may seem.
** also, this stands for people of color, people of religious and racial minorities, women, and those of the lgbt etc persuasion. We should all be able to choose for ourselves.
More...
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Star Trek: The Original Sexism
I've been watching Star Trek: The Original Series, and I have some observations.
Captain Kirk is really smug and unlikeable. In every episode so far, he's insulted his crew's intelligence and been skeevy with every single woman who comes near him, including a girl who was supposed to be about 12.
The portrayal of women is largely disappointing. Uhura seems to be good at her job so far, and Yeoman Rand (the one with the blond, weaved bouffant) is a stellar waitress, but is that really what yeoman are for? Honestly, she just serves Kirk drinks. Then there's also the easy sexual harassment of the women, which the ladies of course accept with either a flattered smile or a non-threatening quip. I wasn't nearly prepared for the attempted rape of Yeoman Rand by Evil Kirk, which was particularly disturbing, given the flagrant sexism in the series. Yeah, yeah, the times. Screw the times, it's awful seeing my whole gender categorized as sexual objects with almost no independent thought.
Bones and Spock are the highlight, they're both used as the voice of justice and reason when Kirk is flying off the handle and being manipulated by brain zappers or whatever is making him try to rape people this week.
But, there is just enough awesome to keep me watching. I just finished the one where the space-cube/yellow-ball-ship/wavy-grey-aliens (also known as S1E10, The Corbomite Maneuver) test the crew of the Enterprise by threatening to destroy them, and while I found most of the episode tedious, the end reveal was fantastic.
I've been wanting to write more about television, I end up watching a lot when my head's on high, and I have so many opinions. I'm interested in portrayals of minorities in media, as my paper a few posts ago would suggest, so I'm going to be talking about it more here. This calls for a new tag!
More...
Captain Kirk is really smug and unlikeable. In every episode so far, he's insulted his crew's intelligence and been skeevy with every single woman who comes near him, including a girl who was supposed to be about 12.
The portrayal of women is largely disappointing. Uhura seems to be good at her job so far, and Yeoman Rand (the one with the blond, weaved bouffant) is a stellar waitress, but is that really what yeoman are for? Honestly, she just serves Kirk drinks. Then there's also the easy sexual harassment of the women, which the ladies of course accept with either a flattered smile or a non-threatening quip. I wasn't nearly prepared for the attempted rape of Yeoman Rand by Evil Kirk, which was particularly disturbing, given the flagrant sexism in the series. Yeah, yeah, the times. Screw the times, it's awful seeing my whole gender categorized as sexual objects with almost no independent thought.
Bones and Spock are the highlight, they're both used as the voice of justice and reason when Kirk is flying off the handle and being manipulated by brain zappers or whatever is making him try to rape people this week.
But, there is just enough awesome to keep me watching. I just finished the one where the space-cube/yellow-ball-ship/wavy-grey-aliens (also known as S1E10, The Corbomite Maneuver) test the crew of the Enterprise by threatening to destroy them, and while I found most of the episode tedious, the end reveal was fantastic.
I've been wanting to write more about television, I end up watching a lot when my head's on high, and I have so many opinions. I'm interested in portrayals of minorities in media, as my paper a few posts ago would suggest, so I'm going to be talking about it more here. This calls for a new tag!
More...
Monday, December 3, 2012
Minorities on Television
Originally written a year ago for my journalism class, and edited a bit for academic overload, this article explores the representation of minorities on television, and how inaccuracies can be harmful to individuals and society.
American culture is media saturated. We consume television, newspapers, magazines, radio and the internet like they're food, and our technology continues to advance at an astounding rate, constantly increasing the amount of news, entertainment, and advertising we're exposed to. The messages we receive from the media, and especially television, can greatly influence our perceptions and our thinking as a culture. "Entertainment [has] important mass communication functions, including cultural transmission" and it can be detrimental to society when that which entertains "may perpetuate stereotypes or try to appeal to a certain segment of the population at the expense of others." (1)
While there are many minority groups that are underrepresented, and misrepresented, in all forms of media, for the purposes of this article, we'll be looking at people of color on television.
Irresponsible media can create racial divides, can make people of color the "other" to be feared, mocked, pitied, scorned, and mostly, ignored. “Representation in the fictional world signifies social existence; absence means symbolic annihilation.” (2)
The people who make our media are largely white. The number of minority-controlled broadcasting stations hovers around 3%, severely under-representing the solid quarter of the US population that isn't white (US Census, 2010). Those media-makers tend to reinforce their own life experiences by promoting and distributing content that is glaringly white, which leaves a significant portion of the population seeing an inaccurate representation of themselves on television, or worse, no representation.
"Viewers who consider media portrayals as valid and realistic are more likely to internalize stereotypical messages. Over a period of time, media representations that are internalized become chronically accessible from memory while making judgments... Media messages influence racial attitudes from a very young age, especially when direct interracial contact is minimal... the impact of television is likely to be quite profound." (3)
For example, seeing only smart and awkward Asians on television repeatedly would surely result in assumptions about the people as a group. Violent black men, the Arab terrorist, the flashy, opportunistic Latino; anyone who's watched American TV knows these stereotypes, and with repeated viewing, they become etched into our brains and influence our feelings about people of color in the real world.
As a first-world dwelling white woman, it's been easy for most of my life to take what I see on my television for granted. Most of the people in my family are white, most of the people on tv are white, there's a seemingly logical parallel there. Except, of course, when I look out my front door and there are people everywhere who aren't white. In researching this topic, I realized that I can only see this subject from my own (white) perspective and that I'd need to create an objective experience to be able to analyze this issue impartially. So, I conducted an experiment.
I decided to critically watch television shows, many from the Nielsen's Top Tens (4), but some were decided on in the moment. I stuck to programming available on basic cable channels, but watched in a variety of ways (live, via On Demand, on Hulu.com) and avoided sports, news, movies and cartoons. Though I watched quite a few shows that are standards in my rotation, I watched many that I normally wouldn't, and commercials that I certainly would never sit through.
I kept a notebook handy and jotted down every time a person on TV spoke; I put a hash mark down to indicate whether they were male or female, and what race they were, using the US Census categories -White, Black or African American, American Indian or Alaska Native, Asian, Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander, or Some Other Race- and my best estimations. I included people who sang, had one-word lines, but none who only laughed or had their voices drowned out by others. I didn't count voice-overs. If a commercial aired several times during a show, I counted each viewing. I did not count cartoon characters unless it was very clear what race and gender they were representing, ie Homer Simpson was noted, but not the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
In total, I watched 23 television programs, all from thirty minutes to an hour in length. These are the observations I recorded. The letters in parentheses represent whether the show was viewed: (L) on television, either live or via DVR, (O) using my cable company's On Demand feature, or (H) on my computer via Hulu.com. The asterisks indicate whether the show or group of advertisements met the 25% quota required to represent our population's white versus non-white population accurately.
The results are undeniable: white people, mostly white men, dominate television programming. Only 26 of the 46 scored (23 shows, and their ads were scored separately) met the minimum 25% ratio of non-white to white, and that doesn't even take into consideration ethnic breakdowns beyond non-white. Of the 1079 people noted in my research, 278 were people of color. Of those, 44 were Asian, 44 were Hispanic and 198 were black. Only three of the twenty-three shows I watched - Dancing With the Stars, Everybody Hates Chris and My Wife and Kids - met that 25% quota in both the program and the advertising. The rest were deficient to varying degrees, but the least inclusive of minorities was Two and a Half Men, which had absolutely no people of color in either the show or its advertising.
A study done by SAG (Screen Actor's Guild) in 2006 stated that of the ethnicities portrayed on television and movies that year and the previous, the breakdown was this: Asians and Pacific Islanders - 3.4%, African-Americans - 14.5%, Caucasians - 72.3%, Latino and Hispanic - 6.3%, Native American - 0.2%, and Unknown/Other – 3.3%. In another study (5), it was found that minorities made up only 21% of the faces on television and that over the ten years prior, "the racial representation of television actors has not changed significantly. White actors continue to be in a distinct majority position, African American representation is in line with their percent of the U.S. population and the representation of Latinos continues to be in a distinct minority."
My research is congruent with this, showing some improvements for people of color and other declines. In the shows I watched, minority representation was up to 26%. Black people were represented the most of the minority ethnicities, at 18%, when they actually only make up 13% of the US population. Asian representation is also up, at 4% in my research, which is an improvement, but is still far from the actual goal of 6%. The visibility of Hispanics on television seems to have markedly dropped, at 5%, while their real-life population continues to grow and is currently about 9%. (6) Unfortunately, in my small sampling of television entertainment, I observed no Native Americans or Hawaiians, Native Alaskans or Pacific Islanders.
"[The] audience often assumes that the media pay attention to things that make a difference in society or things of consequence. The misconception might lead to the inevitable conclusion that Asia and Asian people make little difference in contemporary life, that they are of little consequence." (7)
When an ad comes on for, say, tires, tissues, beer, or microwaveable dinners, most of the time those actors will be white. If an ad is for a household cleaning product, it usually stars a white woman. Prescription drugs: white people. Hair dye: white women. Clothing: Thin, mostly white people.
The real problem is when our commercials are trying to sell us products, they show us something to aspire to. A group of people laughing, a stain coming out of a favorite shirt, nutritious and delicious convenience meals; whatever it is corporations are selling us, they are showing us something to want, something to aspire to. And when there are very few black people in those ads, and hardly any Asian or Hispanic people, we see that being a person of color isn't something to aspire to. In fact, they hardly seem to exist.
"Television portrayals of minorities in the United States can influence minorities' perceptions of their group identities and vitality." (8)
In a country in which racism is alive and well, in which people of color only take up a very small portion of seats in our government and a huge percentage of cells in our prison systems, we need to look closely at our media and what messages it's sending us. Are they helpful or harmful? Do they reinforce stereotypes or challenge ideas that are harmful to our most vulnerable people? Increasing the number of people of color on television, and other media, is the only way to change the inaccuracies being perpetuated. If it's equality we're striving for, equal representation in the media is a great place to start.
References:
1. Pavlik, J.V. and McIntosh, S. (2011). Converging Media: A new introduction to mass communication. New York, New York, Oxford University Press.
2. Gerbner, G., Gross, L. (1976). Living With Television: The Violence Profile. Journal of Communication 26, 163-183
3. Ramasubramanian, S. (2001). Television Exposure, Model Minority Portrayals, and Asian-American Stereotypes: An Exploratory Study. Journal of Intercultural Communication, ISSN 1404-1634, issue 26, July 2011. Retrieved from: http://www.immi.se/intercultural/nr26/ramasubramanian.htm
4. Neilsen. 2011. Top Tens and Trends, November 7, 2011. Retrieved from http://www.nielsen.com/us/en/insights/top10s.html
5. Monk-Turner, E., Heiserman, M., Johnson, C., Cotton, V., & Jackson, M. (2010). The Portrayal of Racial Minorities on Prime Time Television: A Replication of the Mastro and Greenberg Study a Decade Later. Studies in Popular Culture, 32.2 Spring 2010, 101-114. Retrieved from:
http://pcasacas.org/SiPC/32.2/Monk-Turner_Heiserman_Johnson_Cotton_Jackson.pdf
6. Humes, K.R., Jones, N.A., and Ramirez, R.R., 2010. Overview of Race and Hispanic Origin: 2010. 2010 Census Briefs, March 2011. Retrieved from: http://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-02.pdf
7. Piehl, D. & Ruppel, R. (1994). Primetime’s Hidden Agenda: The Anti-Asian Bias of American Television. A Gathering of Voices on the Asian American Experience. Fort Atkinson, WI: Highsmith Press, 179-185
8. Pornsakulvanich, V. (2007) Television Portrayals of Ethnic Minorities in The United States: The Analysis of Individual Differences, Media Use, and Group Identity and Vitality. ABAC Journal Vol. 27, No. 3 September-December, 2007, p. 22-28. Retrieved from: http://www.journal.au.edu/abac_journal/2007/sep07/p2TelevisionPortrayalsOfEthnicMinorities_abacJV27n3.pdf
More...
American culture is media saturated. We consume television, newspapers, magazines, radio and the internet like they're food, and our technology continues to advance at an astounding rate, constantly increasing the amount of news, entertainment, and advertising we're exposed to. The messages we receive from the media, and especially television, can greatly influence our perceptions and our thinking as a culture. "Entertainment [has] important mass communication functions, including cultural transmission" and it can be detrimental to society when that which entertains "may perpetuate stereotypes or try to appeal to a certain segment of the population at the expense of others." (1)
While there are many minority groups that are underrepresented, and misrepresented, in all forms of media, for the purposes of this article, we'll be looking at people of color on television.
Irresponsible media can create racial divides, can make people of color the "other" to be feared, mocked, pitied, scorned, and mostly, ignored. “Representation in the fictional world signifies social existence; absence means symbolic annihilation.” (2)
The people who make our media are largely white. The number of minority-controlled broadcasting stations hovers around 3%, severely under-representing the solid quarter of the US population that isn't white (US Census, 2010). Those media-makers tend to reinforce their own life experiences by promoting and distributing content that is glaringly white, which leaves a significant portion of the population seeing an inaccurate representation of themselves on television, or worse, no representation.
"Viewers who consider media portrayals as valid and realistic are more likely to internalize stereotypical messages. Over a period of time, media representations that are internalized become chronically accessible from memory while making judgments... Media messages influence racial attitudes from a very young age, especially when direct interracial contact is minimal... the impact of television is likely to be quite profound." (3)
For example, seeing only smart and awkward Asians on television repeatedly would surely result in assumptions about the people as a group. Violent black men, the Arab terrorist, the flashy, opportunistic Latino; anyone who's watched American TV knows these stereotypes, and with repeated viewing, they become etched into our brains and influence our feelings about people of color in the real world.
As a first-world dwelling white woman, it's been easy for most of my life to take what I see on my television for granted. Most of the people in my family are white, most of the people on tv are white, there's a seemingly logical parallel there. Except, of course, when I look out my front door and there are people everywhere who aren't white. In researching this topic, I realized that I can only see this subject from my own (white) perspective and that I'd need to create an objective experience to be able to analyze this issue impartially. So, I conducted an experiment.
I decided to critically watch television shows, many from the Nielsen's Top Tens (4), but some were decided on in the moment. I stuck to programming available on basic cable channels, but watched in a variety of ways (live, via On Demand, on Hulu.com) and avoided sports, news, movies and cartoons. Though I watched quite a few shows that are standards in my rotation, I watched many that I normally wouldn't, and commercials that I certainly would never sit through.
I kept a notebook handy and jotted down every time a person on TV spoke; I put a hash mark down to indicate whether they were male or female, and what race they were, using the US Census categories -White, Black or African American, American Indian or Alaska Native, Asian, Native Hawaiian or Pacific Islander, or Some Other Race- and my best estimations. I included people who sang, had one-word lines, but none who only laughed or had their voices drowned out by others. I didn't count voice-overs. If a commercial aired several times during a show, I counted each viewing. I did not count cartoon characters unless it was very clear what race and gender they were representing, ie Homer Simpson was noted, but not the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
In total, I watched 23 television programs, all from thirty minutes to an hour in length. These are the observations I recorded. The letters in parentheses represent whether the show was viewed: (L) on television, either live or via DVR, (O) using my cable company's On Demand feature, or (H) on my computer via Hulu.com. The asterisks indicate whether the show or group of advertisements met the 25% quota required to represent our population's white versus non-white population accurately.
The results are undeniable: white people, mostly white men, dominate television programming. Only 26 of the 46 scored (23 shows, and their ads were scored separately) met the minimum 25% ratio of non-white to white, and that doesn't even take into consideration ethnic breakdowns beyond non-white. Of the 1079 people noted in my research, 278 were people of color. Of those, 44 were Asian, 44 were Hispanic and 198 were black. Only three of the twenty-three shows I watched - Dancing With the Stars, Everybody Hates Chris and My Wife and Kids - met that 25% quota in both the program and the advertising. The rest were deficient to varying degrees, but the least inclusive of minorities was Two and a Half Men, which had absolutely no people of color in either the show or its advertising.
A study done by SAG (Screen Actor's Guild) in 2006 stated that of the ethnicities portrayed on television and movies that year and the previous, the breakdown was this: Asians and Pacific Islanders - 3.4%, African-Americans - 14.5%, Caucasians - 72.3%, Latino and Hispanic - 6.3%, Native American - 0.2%, and Unknown/Other – 3.3%. In another study (5), it was found that minorities made up only 21% of the faces on television and that over the ten years prior, "the racial representation of television actors has not changed significantly. White actors continue to be in a distinct majority position, African American representation is in line with their percent of the U.S. population and the representation of Latinos continues to be in a distinct minority."
My research is congruent with this, showing some improvements for people of color and other declines. In the shows I watched, minority representation was up to 26%. Black people were represented the most of the minority ethnicities, at 18%, when they actually only make up 13% of the US population. Asian representation is also up, at 4% in my research, which is an improvement, but is still far from the actual goal of 6%. The visibility of Hispanics on television seems to have markedly dropped, at 5%, while their real-life population continues to grow and is currently about 9%. (6) Unfortunately, in my small sampling of television entertainment, I observed no Native Americans or Hawaiians, Native Alaskans or Pacific Islanders.
"[The] audience often assumes that the media pay attention to things that make a difference in society or things of consequence. The misconception might lead to the inevitable conclusion that Asia and Asian people make little difference in contemporary life, that they are of little consequence." (7)
When an ad comes on for, say, tires, tissues, beer, or microwaveable dinners, most of the time those actors will be white. If an ad is for a household cleaning product, it usually stars a white woman. Prescription drugs: white people. Hair dye: white women. Clothing: Thin, mostly white people.
The real problem is when our commercials are trying to sell us products, they show us something to aspire to. A group of people laughing, a stain coming out of a favorite shirt, nutritious and delicious convenience meals; whatever it is corporations are selling us, they are showing us something to want, something to aspire to. And when there are very few black people in those ads, and hardly any Asian or Hispanic people, we see that being a person of color isn't something to aspire to. In fact, they hardly seem to exist.
"Television portrayals of minorities in the United States can influence minorities' perceptions of their group identities and vitality." (8)
In a country in which racism is alive and well, in which people of color only take up a very small portion of seats in our government and a huge percentage of cells in our prison systems, we need to look closely at our media and what messages it's sending us. Are they helpful or harmful? Do they reinforce stereotypes or challenge ideas that are harmful to our most vulnerable people? Increasing the number of people of color on television, and other media, is the only way to change the inaccuracies being perpetuated. If it's equality we're striving for, equal representation in the media is a great place to start.
References:
1. Pavlik, J.V. and McIntosh, S. (2011). Converging Media: A new introduction to mass communication. New York, New York, Oxford University Press.
2. Gerbner, G., Gross, L. (1976). Living With Television: The Violence Profile. Journal of Communication 26, 163-183
3. Ramasubramanian, S. (2001). Television Exposure, Model Minority Portrayals, and Asian-American Stereotypes: An Exploratory Study. Journal of Intercultural Communication, ISSN 1404-1634, issue 26, July 2011. Retrieved from: http://www.immi.se/intercultural/nr26/ramasubramanian.htm
4. Neilsen. 2011. Top Tens and Trends, November 7, 2011. Retrieved from http://www.nielsen.com/us/en/insights/top10s.html
5. Monk-Turner, E., Heiserman, M., Johnson, C., Cotton, V., & Jackson, M. (2010). The Portrayal of Racial Minorities on Prime Time Television: A Replication of the Mastro and Greenberg Study a Decade Later. Studies in Popular Culture, 32.2 Spring 2010, 101-114. Retrieved from:
http://pcasacas.org/SiPC/32.2/Monk-Turner_Heiserman_Johnson_Cotton_Jackson.pdf
6. Humes, K.R., Jones, N.A., and Ramirez, R.R., 2010. Overview of Race and Hispanic Origin: 2010. 2010 Census Briefs, March 2011. Retrieved from: http://www.census.gov/prod/cen2010/briefs/c2010br-02.pdf
7. Piehl, D. & Ruppel, R. (1994). Primetime’s Hidden Agenda: The Anti-Asian Bias of American Television. A Gathering of Voices on the Asian American Experience. Fort Atkinson, WI: Highsmith Press, 179-185
8. Pornsakulvanich, V. (2007) Television Portrayals of Ethnic Minorities in The United States: The Analysis of Individual Differences, Media Use, and Group Identity and Vitality. ABAC Journal Vol. 27, No. 3 September-December, 2007, p. 22-28. Retrieved from: http://www.journal.au.edu/abac_journal/2007/sep07/p2TelevisionPortrayalsOfEthnicMinorities_abacJV27n3.pdf
More...
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Going Natural
Between being a newb feminist, discovering my inner greenie, and being physically unable to bend and reach repeatedly, my personal grooming habits have totally changed. It's not something I bring up a lot, but today I saw an advertisement for eyelash extensions, and I suddenly feel the urge to preach my efficient, yet minimalist version of self-care.
My hair was one of the first changes I made when I got sick. My shampoo and conditioner were perfumed, as are 99% of the self-cleaning products on the shelves, and when scents started bothering me, taking a shower became a torment. I googled around for unscented shampoo options and came across the no-poo method. It's been years now since I've used anything on my hair other than baking soda, white vinegar, lemon juice, olive oil, rosemary tea and cornstarch, and it's normally just the soda and vinegar. This method has also reduced the frequency with which I need to wash my hair, which is great because the reaching while shampooing and being cold while my super-thick hair takes HOURS to dry are both potential head triggers and I'd rather not do them four times a week.
I've also turned to natural, unscented soaps. I've been switching off lately between a basic olive oil soap and a goat's milk soap, which does have a slightly... goaty scent. On my face, I use the oil-cleansing method, and I really love what it's done for my skin. I break out a lot less than I did when I used the non-comedogenic, medicated, supposedly gentle for sensitive skin, commercial cleansers. Now, I just rub my face, neck, shoulders and chest down with an olive oil/castor oil blend, sometimes I steam with a hot washcloth, then wipe it all off, gently, and my face is soft like a baby's butt.
My facial skin is also probably improved because I hardly ever wear makeup anymore, and can't actually remember the last time I wore anything more than chapstick. I have no good makeup recommendations, because all I have is stinky stuff that I hate, I can't afford replacements, and I think makeup is a bullshit institution anyway. Why can't I have visible blemishes? I'm a person, not a mannequin. I might be on a makeup strike.
Speaking of strikes, let's talk body hair. Until the last few years, I was the master of the razor. I wore short-shorts and bikinis and rarely was stubble ever seen. But with migraines, I've been unable to shave my legs without triggering head pain, from all the bending and the reaching. During the winter, this isn't an issue at all; I'm not wearing anything skimpy when it's less than 80 degrees anyway, so I leave it alone.
In the summer, I'll use a razor on my legs once or twice, but mostly, I rely on a trusty electric trimmer to mow the leg-lawn. It leaves stubble, so it really only changes things from fluffy to prickly, but it's better than feeling like a total sasquatch when I have to be in public on a hot day. Depilatories and waxes aren't an option for me, I hate them for their smell, skin irritation and ingrown hairs.
I do pluck my eyebrows a bit and wax my upper lip every now and again, though. I prefer not to have a moustache, or a unibrow. I'm only exaggerating a little.
I do eventually hope to come to terms with my body hair, embrace my sasquatchiness, and to be able to simply leave it alone, without feeling self-conscious. I consider the requirement of females to be hairless to be sexist and unfair, and I'm trying to reclaim a love for my body, as it is. Body hair isn't gross, it's certainly not unnatural, and it's no one else's business but mine. And, now yours, I guess. Hi!
My one purely self-indulgent, totally toxic grooming behavior is painting my toenails. After migraines hit, I didn't for a long time, but just this summer I've started it back up. The fumes are really noxious, and I have to be outside to withstand them, but it's worth the effort, when I can handle it. I've been rocking some white metallic paint on my toes for the past few weeks, but the next time I'm feeling up to it, I'm thinking of going cobalt.
Besides all the superficial stuff, a big part of taking care of my physical appearance is protecting it, and sunscreen is the one thing I haven't been able to change about my routine, yet. If I will be in the sun for more than a half an hour, I always wear it, though I really dislike the feeling, the smell and that every brand I've ever tried has made my skin break out. But, if I can't stay in the shade, I have to suck it up. Sunburns are the worst.
Being chronically ill can really take the wind out of your sails when you are trying to appear socially acceptable. And I have a secret for when I feel too tired or I'm in too much pain to keep up the charade: I don't. Those normal social rules that dictate what we should look like and how we take care of ourselves? They're crap. If I feel terrible, I will walk the dog in my pajamas, or go to the pharmacy without brushing my teeth or hair. I will even go out without washing my face, if I don't have the energy. If get funny looks from strangers (and I do), I just keep moving and get my stuff done so I can get back home and lay the hell down.
So, my priorities have shifted over the last few years. Appearances still have some import, but my health takes precedence. And it's sad that it took getting sick for me to realize what really matters.
More...
My hair was one of the first changes I made when I got sick. My shampoo and conditioner were perfumed, as are 99% of the self-cleaning products on the shelves, and when scents started bothering me, taking a shower became a torment. I googled around for unscented shampoo options and came across the no-poo method. It's been years now since I've used anything on my hair other than baking soda, white vinegar, lemon juice, olive oil, rosemary tea and cornstarch, and it's normally just the soda and vinegar. This method has also reduced the frequency with which I need to wash my hair, which is great because the reaching while shampooing and being cold while my super-thick hair takes HOURS to dry are both potential head triggers and I'd rather not do them four times a week.
I've also turned to natural, unscented soaps. I've been switching off lately between a basic olive oil soap and a goat's milk soap, which does have a slightly... goaty scent. On my face, I use the oil-cleansing method, and I really love what it's done for my skin. I break out a lot less than I did when I used the non-comedogenic, medicated, supposedly gentle for sensitive skin, commercial cleansers. Now, I just rub my face, neck, shoulders and chest down with an olive oil/castor oil blend, sometimes I steam with a hot washcloth, then wipe it all off, gently, and my face is soft like a baby's butt.
My facial skin is also probably improved because I hardly ever wear makeup anymore, and can't actually remember the last time I wore anything more than chapstick. I have no good makeup recommendations, because all I have is stinky stuff that I hate, I can't afford replacements, and I think makeup is a bullshit institution anyway. Why can't I have visible blemishes? I'm a person, not a mannequin. I might be on a makeup strike.
Speaking of strikes, let's talk body hair. Until the last few years, I was the master of the razor. I wore short-shorts and bikinis and rarely was stubble ever seen. But with migraines, I've been unable to shave my legs without triggering head pain, from all the bending and the reaching. During the winter, this isn't an issue at all; I'm not wearing anything skimpy when it's less than 80 degrees anyway, so I leave it alone.
In the summer, I'll use a razor on my legs once or twice, but mostly, I rely on a trusty electric trimmer to mow the leg-lawn. It leaves stubble, so it really only changes things from fluffy to prickly, but it's better than feeling like a total sasquatch when I have to be in public on a hot day. Depilatories and waxes aren't an option for me, I hate them for their smell, skin irritation and ingrown hairs.
I do pluck my eyebrows a bit and wax my upper lip every now and again, though. I prefer not to have a moustache, or a unibrow. I'm only exaggerating a little.
I do eventually hope to come to terms with my body hair, embrace my sasquatchiness, and to be able to simply leave it alone, without feeling self-conscious. I consider the requirement of females to be hairless to be sexist and unfair, and I'm trying to reclaim a love for my body, as it is. Body hair isn't gross, it's certainly not unnatural, and it's no one else's business but mine. And, now yours, I guess. Hi!
My one purely self-indulgent, totally toxic grooming behavior is painting my toenails. After migraines hit, I didn't for a long time, but just this summer I've started it back up. The fumes are really noxious, and I have to be outside to withstand them, but it's worth the effort, when I can handle it. I've been rocking some white metallic paint on my toes for the past few weeks, but the next time I'm feeling up to it, I'm thinking of going cobalt.
Besides all the superficial stuff, a big part of taking care of my physical appearance is protecting it, and sunscreen is the one thing I haven't been able to change about my routine, yet. If I will be in the sun for more than a half an hour, I always wear it, though I really dislike the feeling, the smell and that every brand I've ever tried has made my skin break out. But, if I can't stay in the shade, I have to suck it up. Sunburns are the worst.
Being chronically ill can really take the wind out of your sails when you are trying to appear socially acceptable. And I have a secret for when I feel too tired or I'm in too much pain to keep up the charade: I don't. Those normal social rules that dictate what we should look like and how we take care of ourselves? They're crap. If I feel terrible, I will walk the dog in my pajamas, or go to the pharmacy without brushing my teeth or hair. I will even go out without washing my face, if I don't have the energy. If get funny looks from strangers (and I do), I just keep moving and get my stuff done so I can get back home and lay the hell down.
So, my priorities have shifted over the last few years. Appearances still have some import, but my health takes precedence. And it's sad that it took getting sick for me to realize what really matters.
More...
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Women in Sports
With the Olympics came a whole lot of sexism leveled at the females athletes, from commentators, news sources, and the general public. When I was faced with this sexism in real life, or on the internet, I tried to counter it with facts and pointed out the flaws in whatever was said, or photographed. I spoke to my friends and family when they'd listen, and even went on a rant on the internet. I don't usually confront the internet, it can be monolithic and intimidating, but I found that I was more passionate about this subject than I knew, so I'm reprinting my thoughts here.
Women are disadvantaged in sports, they have less sponsorship opportunities (and the ones they do get tend to be sexually exploitative, a la Danica Patrick for GoDaddy), less access to training resources, lower pay and less of a chance to play, because women's sports aren't considered interesting.
I think that part of the problem is segregation. Women should be able to play with and against men whenever they want, and I see no reason for them to be separate.
But, but! Upper body strength, muscles, center of gravity! I heard full paragraphs of bull supporting these phrases and I shall not type them out because rage isn't healthy. But, know that similar arguments were used to keep black people out of white sports back in the day, and it was determined then and is still true now that separate is never really equal. We all have different body types, we all have different strengths and weaknesses and that's why there are winners and losers in games, instead of everything always ending in a tie.
Yes, many women are physically weaker than many men. But some women are stronger, some women are faster and more agile and more talented than many men, than ALL the men, and they aren't being given the same opportunities, solely because they're women.
I do think that women should have the option of playing separately, if they want it. The world is so male-dominated, any place where it's okay to be a lady can be a rare sanctuary. But, if a woman wants to play golf, or tennis, or soccer, or football or ANY sport there is and she wants to compete with the men, she should be rabidly encouraged.
And, I'm not the only one who thinks so.
Female Athletes' Endorsement Opportunities Hindered By Sexualization And Lack Of Visibility, Say Researchers
Men vs. Women in Athletics
"By directly challenging and dispelling misconceptions about women’s capabilities, integrated sport programmes help to reduce discrimination and broaden the role prescribed to women." From this amazing, and hugely long study: Women, Gender Equality and Sport.
Here's an article about a female weightlifter who outranked ALL the men and still had trouble getting any scholarships: Why doesn’t Sarah Robles, the highest ranked American weightlifter, have all the athletic sponsorships?
"Because females have historically faced athletic disadvantages, they should be able to play on all-female teams if they choose. But they shouldn't be barred from playing on traditionally male teams.", from Women and Men in Sports: Separate is not equal
Feminism has become a part of my life since my bubble of able-bodied privilege was broken, and I'm probably going to start writing about it more here. Hence, new tag!
More...
Women are disadvantaged in sports, they have less sponsorship opportunities (and the ones they do get tend to be sexually exploitative, a la Danica Patrick for GoDaddy), less access to training resources, lower pay and less of a chance to play, because women's sports aren't considered interesting.
I think that part of the problem is segregation. Women should be able to play with and against men whenever they want, and I see no reason for them to be separate.
But, but! Upper body strength, muscles, center of gravity! I heard full paragraphs of bull supporting these phrases and I shall not type them out because rage isn't healthy. But, know that similar arguments were used to keep black people out of white sports back in the day, and it was determined then and is still true now that separate is never really equal. We all have different body types, we all have different strengths and weaknesses and that's why there are winners and losers in games, instead of everything always ending in a tie.
Yes, many women are physically weaker than many men. But some women are stronger, some women are faster and more agile and more talented than many men, than ALL the men, and they aren't being given the same opportunities, solely because they're women.
I do think that women should have the option of playing separately, if they want it. The world is so male-dominated, any place where it's okay to be a lady can be a rare sanctuary. But, if a woman wants to play golf, or tennis, or soccer, or football or ANY sport there is and she wants to compete with the men, she should be rabidly encouraged.
And, I'm not the only one who thinks so.
Female Athletes' Endorsement Opportunities Hindered By Sexualization And Lack Of Visibility, Say Researchers
Men vs. Women in Athletics
"By directly challenging and dispelling misconceptions about women’s capabilities, integrated sport programmes help to reduce discrimination and broaden the role prescribed to women." From this amazing, and hugely long study: Women, Gender Equality and Sport.
Here's an article about a female weightlifter who outranked ALL the men and still had trouble getting any scholarships: Why doesn’t Sarah Robles, the highest ranked American weightlifter, have all the athletic sponsorships?
"Because females have historically faced athletic disadvantages, they should be able to play on all-female teams if they choose. But they shouldn't be barred from playing on traditionally male teams.", from Women and Men in Sports: Separate is not equal
Feminism has become a part of my life since my bubble of able-bodied privilege was broken, and I'm probably going to start writing about it more here. Hence, new tag!
More...
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Little Things Being Huge
The Good: I went down to my college a few days ago, to register.
My counselor had me sign a form to register online, then I went and paid the cashier. I don't actually register until the 6th, but this was a small step that marks my intent to school this quarter. Every step counts when every step is a monumental effort.
After registration, I'll still have to get my books, but then hopefully I'll be able to stay away from campus for the rest of the quarter.
The Bad: There's a party coming up that I've declined going to; it'll be crowded, loud, chaotic and out of my price range. In response to my rsvp, a joke was made about all the fantastic loud things I'm missing out on: waterfalls, babies, and fireworks, specifically.
It was a joke, meant lightly. I didn't take it that way. I hear a lot of these types of jokes, and I'm really losing my sense of humor over here. In response, I sent a message explaining that it had hurt me, and why. For perspective, I asked if it would be funny to tell a person in a wheelchair all the fantastic walking-related activities they're missing out on. I know the answer to this one, and it is NO, IT WOULD NOT BE OK.
Fortunately, the perpetrator of the unfunny joke seemed to know the answer as well and responded with an apology. I thanked him for his understanding, though I doubt I really had it. Not his fault, disability is something many people can't understand without first-hand experience. Though this was a crappy interaction (I despise confrontation, and explaining ableism to a healthy person so rarely goes well), I was proud that I stood up for myself and didn't just let it go. Score one for me.
And, The Totally Kickass: I don't use tumblr myself, but I've been following a fantastic cleaning blog, Unfuck Your Habitat, and the daily motivation has been really great for helping me stay on top of my house cleanliness. It starts with making the bed, every day, no excuses. I've been doing it, too, every single dingle day that I don't stay in the bed, that bed gets MADE. And then straightening up the rest of the house is easier, doing the dishes isn't quite as daunting, and cleaning the kitchen might actually be within my grasp!! My house... doesn't look like a clutter-bomb went off in it anymore, you guys. I seriously heart Unfuck Your Habitat.
More...
My counselor had me sign a form to register online, then I went and paid the cashier. I don't actually register until the 6th, but this was a small step that marks my intent to school this quarter. Every step counts when every step is a monumental effort.
After registration, I'll still have to get my books, but then hopefully I'll be able to stay away from campus for the rest of the quarter.
The Bad: There's a party coming up that I've declined going to; it'll be crowded, loud, chaotic and out of my price range. In response to my rsvp, a joke was made about all the fantastic loud things I'm missing out on: waterfalls, babies, and fireworks, specifically.
It was a joke, meant lightly. I didn't take it that way. I hear a lot of these types of jokes, and I'm really losing my sense of humor over here. In response, I sent a message explaining that it had hurt me, and why. For perspective, I asked if it would be funny to tell a person in a wheelchair all the fantastic walking-related activities they're missing out on. I know the answer to this one, and it is NO, IT WOULD NOT BE OK.
Fortunately, the perpetrator of the unfunny joke seemed to know the answer as well and responded with an apology. I thanked him for his understanding, though I doubt I really had it. Not his fault, disability is something many people can't understand without first-hand experience. Though this was a crappy interaction (I despise confrontation, and explaining ableism to a healthy person so rarely goes well), I was proud that I stood up for myself and didn't just let it go. Score one for me.
And, The Totally Kickass: I don't use tumblr myself, but I've been following a fantastic cleaning blog, Unfuck Your Habitat, and the daily motivation has been really great for helping me stay on top of my house cleanliness. It starts with making the bed, every day, no excuses. I've been doing it, too, every single dingle day that I don't stay in the bed, that bed gets MADE. And then straightening up the rest of the house is easier, doing the dishes isn't quite as daunting, and cleaning the kitchen might actually be within my grasp!! My house... doesn't look like a clutter-bomb went off in it anymore, you guys. I seriously heart Unfuck Your Habitat.
More...
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Succinctly: Sickness, Sexism, Symptoms, and Scholarships
I'm on my fourth day with a stomach bug. I'm miserable.
The good news is that this is the first day I've felt good enough to try to internet. My friends and loved ones are going neglected, so many surveys remain unanswered, my email box mocks me with all the things I should be addressing, but my gut is very distracting, and the bad news is that it seems that my head is getting in on the action, too.
Last night I couldn't fall asleep without an icepack under my head, which hasn't happened since we moved. Laying in bed all day, save for many, many unhappy trips to the bathroom, isn't doing my migraines any good at all.
This morning, while trying to find something on tv to distract me from the ick that is my life right now, I stumbled upon The Princess Bride, right at the beginning when Fred Savage is giving Columbo lip about bringing him a book. I was delighted, and snuggled down into my pillows to enjoy the nostalgia. It's been one of my favorite movies since it came out, but today I watched it and wondered why Buttercup doesn't do more to save herself. Her plans for escape only ever include suicide, and she relies solely on "(her) Westley to save (her)". Gross. The movie is funny and exciting and I'd still recommend it as a movie to watch over and over, but I really wish one of these times that Buttercup would just get herself out of the damned castle. You have legs, girl.
I've applied for so many scholarships now, my head is starting to spin. I've got my fingers crossed for the future, but I don't think I'm going to be able to afford to get back in school this coming quarter. Money is ever-tight, and if we can't pay the internet bill, I can't attend class.
Sigh.
More...
The good news is that this is the first day I've felt good enough to try to internet. My friends and loved ones are going neglected, so many surveys remain unanswered, my email box mocks me with all the things I should be addressing, but my gut is very distracting, and the bad news is that it seems that my head is getting in on the action, too.
Last night I couldn't fall asleep without an icepack under my head, which hasn't happened since we moved. Laying in bed all day, save for many, many unhappy trips to the bathroom, isn't doing my migraines any good at all.
This morning, while trying to find something on tv to distract me from the ick that is my life right now, I stumbled upon The Princess Bride, right at the beginning when Fred Savage is giving Columbo lip about bringing him a book. I was delighted, and snuggled down into my pillows to enjoy the nostalgia. It's been one of my favorite movies since it came out, but today I watched it and wondered why Buttercup doesn't do more to save herself. Her plans for escape only ever include suicide, and she relies solely on "(her) Westley to save (her)". Gross. The movie is funny and exciting and I'd still recommend it as a movie to watch over and over, but I really wish one of these times that Buttercup would just get herself out of the damned castle. You have legs, girl.
I've applied for so many scholarships now, my head is starting to spin. I've got my fingers crossed for the future, but I don't think I'm going to be able to afford to get back in school this coming quarter. Money is ever-tight, and if we can't pay the internet bill, I can't attend class.
Sigh.
More...
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Anxiety Balls
Oh, school. Why do you have to be so amazing and so intimidating at the same time?
So far, it's been so good. I've completed our weekly assignments on time and with good feedback, I've gotten A's and B's on all my quizzes, and I've felt pretty confident about the material and my grasp of it.
But now, there's a bigger assignment. It's worth more points and requires more time and effort, not to mention some creative thinking. And I'm stumped and flailing. The assignment is to create a project that explains an aspect of media. I could make a short video or powerpoint presentation, or write an article and submit it for publication, I could take a survey of people and present some findings... I have no idea what to do. I had to pick a topic by the 31st, so I went with Feminism in Media because it's something I've been fairly obsessed with lately and it's a nice, broad topic, so I'd have plenty of room to find my niche.
But I'm having trouble focusing. I thought about making a video that touches on the stereotypes of women and minorities in the media, but I have no experience with any video editing software of the last 15 years, and am worried about the learning curve. Besides, where do I begin? Television? Movies? Advertising? I've chosen too broad a topic, maybe.
I've been feeling like I'm only keeping up by the skin of my teeth, and have only been doing so well by luck, even though as I write it, I know it's not true. I've made my schoolwork a priority and have pushed through and have worked hard and I can continue to do well if I just keep moving. This insecurity is coming from the larger scope of this new project, plus the research paper that was just introduced yesterday (so I've a whole new ball of anxieties to play with until the final week), and I've recently had a few inconvenient migraine days that left me less than my intellectual best for a week or so.
I'm starting to feel a little pressure.
I wish we hadn't made this major move in my first millisecond back at school. I wish migraines didn't make it so hard to think. I wish I could get a handle on this project. I've got two and a half weeks to pull it out.
More...
So far, it's been so good. I've completed our weekly assignments on time and with good feedback, I've gotten A's and B's on all my quizzes, and I've felt pretty confident about the material and my grasp of it.
But now, there's a bigger assignment. It's worth more points and requires more time and effort, not to mention some creative thinking. And I'm stumped and flailing. The assignment is to create a project that explains an aspect of media. I could make a short video or powerpoint presentation, or write an article and submit it for publication, I could take a survey of people and present some findings... I have no idea what to do. I had to pick a topic by the 31st, so I went with Feminism in Media because it's something I've been fairly obsessed with lately and it's a nice, broad topic, so I'd have plenty of room to find my niche.
But I'm having trouble focusing. I thought about making a video that touches on the stereotypes of women and minorities in the media, but I have no experience with any video editing software of the last 15 years, and am worried about the learning curve. Besides, where do I begin? Television? Movies? Advertising? I've chosen too broad a topic, maybe.
I've been feeling like I'm only keeping up by the skin of my teeth, and have only been doing so well by luck, even though as I write it, I know it's not true. I've made my schoolwork a priority and have pushed through and have worked hard and I can continue to do well if I just keep moving. This insecurity is coming from the larger scope of this new project, plus the research paper that was just introduced yesterday (so I've a whole new ball of anxieties to play with until the final week), and I've recently had a few inconvenient migraine days that left me less than my intellectual best for a week or so.
I'm starting to feel a little pressure.
I wish we hadn't made this major move in my first millisecond back at school. I wish migraines didn't make it so hard to think. I wish I could get a handle on this project. I've got two and a half weeks to pull it out.
More...
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Lately and Michele Bachmann
Did I mention that my bike was stolen? People suck.
The weather cooled off a little this week and I've been wanting to celebrate by trying not to fall off a bike again, but since we have no money, we can't afford to get me another one. My boyfriend is going to try to cobble one together, he's got some junk parts and an old frame he thinks he can use, but I really wish I could get a bike that fit me. Even my last one, I had to lean forward too far and it made my neck and shoulders cramp up. Not only did I feel every bump through my butt, but so much of my weight was on my hands, any jolts also traveled straight up my arms, and bored into the back of my head. I really want bike riding to be fun.
I had a migraine last night that was low on the overall pain, but I kept having these spikes that felt like my brain was dry heaving. Each heave was triggered directly by sound, and each sound would trigger several heaves. It was almost like a painful orgasm in my head. And though I quickly sequestered myself in near-silence, a feeling of tense fuzziness continued to shroud my skull, and I knew those heaves could be triggered again, easily. So, I typed quieter. But, hey, brain heave. That's kind of new. I think I've felt it before, but it was always accompanied by other brain feelings, like stabbing and throbbing. And the stabbing is an attention hog, let me tell you.
I've been getting into fermentation. I've successfully made sauerkraut and yogurt, and now I'm giving kombucha a good up-and-down and may I say, it's looking mighty enticing. I hear improved gut health can also improve migraine health and it's worth a shot when I already love sauerkraut and yogurt and haven't tried kombucha yet, but darn if I'm not fascinated by the whole thing.
Oh, and we got our food stamps reinstated, but they cut our benefits by almost $100. It's like they hate me. BUT, I finally found a farmer's market nearby that takes the stamps, AND they'll give me $5 for every $10 I spend, making my dollar go so much further! I'm really excited to try it out, alas, I have to wait two weeks until they refill the card. I hate wait.
Michele Bachmann's migraines and the resulting media frenzy of ableism and sexism has been filling up my blogroll all week. My response is to concur with Jon Stewart, who said on the Daily Show:
"Of all my issues with Michele Bachmann's brain, migraines- not even in the top 20."
I kind of want that on a t-shirt.
More...
The weather cooled off a little this week and I've been wanting to celebrate by trying not to fall off a bike again, but since we have no money, we can't afford to get me another one. My boyfriend is going to try to cobble one together, he's got some junk parts and an old frame he thinks he can use, but I really wish I could get a bike that fit me. Even my last one, I had to lean forward too far and it made my neck and shoulders cramp up. Not only did I feel every bump through my butt, but so much of my weight was on my hands, any jolts also traveled straight up my arms, and bored into the back of my head. I really want bike riding to be fun.
I had a migraine last night that was low on the overall pain, but I kept having these spikes that felt like my brain was dry heaving. Each heave was triggered directly by sound, and each sound would trigger several heaves. It was almost like a painful orgasm in my head. And though I quickly sequestered myself in near-silence, a feeling of tense fuzziness continued to shroud my skull, and I knew those heaves could be triggered again, easily. So, I typed quieter. But, hey, brain heave. That's kind of new. I think I've felt it before, but it was always accompanied by other brain feelings, like stabbing and throbbing. And the stabbing is an attention hog, let me tell you.
I've been getting into fermentation. I've successfully made sauerkraut and yogurt, and now I'm giving kombucha a good up-and-down and may I say, it's looking mighty enticing. I hear improved gut health can also improve migraine health and it's worth a shot when I already love sauerkraut and yogurt and haven't tried kombucha yet, but darn if I'm not fascinated by the whole thing.
Oh, and we got our food stamps reinstated, but they cut our benefits by almost $100. It's like they hate me. BUT, I finally found a farmer's market nearby that takes the stamps, AND they'll give me $5 for every $10 I spend, making my dollar go so much further! I'm really excited to try it out, alas, I have to wait two weeks until they refill the card. I hate wait.
Michele Bachmann's migraines and the resulting media frenzy of ableism and sexism has been filling up my blogroll all week. My response is to concur with Jon Stewart, who said on the Daily Show:
"Of all my issues with Michele Bachmann's brain, migraines- not even in the top 20."
I kind of want that on a t-shirt.
More...
Monday, November 16, 2009
A Glimpse into my World on a Bad Day
Today is a day in which I constantly fight off the urge to smash something. First, my head hurts. I don't really want to get into detail about it. Every time I try, I end up pounding on the keyboard in frustration. Nothing has changed. Besides my entire life. I think I'm going backwards through the stages of grief and have landed back on anger.
We're having computer issues. We have two laptops, one is MINE and the other is an asshole. MY laptop refuses to install and use our new internet source, which means I've been forced to use the asshole lately. The asshole seems fine. It starts up quickly, installs and runs programs easily and plays multi-media like a dream. HOWEVER, the asshole has a few keys that are totally non-responsive. Like P. And tab, the left shift and 90% of the number keys. Using the on-screen keyboard provided by windows, I have full functionality on the asshole, it's just extremely irritating to break the rhythm of my typing groove to have to whip out the onscreen keyboard, or to use the arrow keys and delete instead of backspace when I make the inevitable typo. I tried powering through it and fixing mistakes later. It made me feel totally unbalanced, to look at my paragraphs of half-formed words underlined angrily in red. I've started probably ten different posts on the past few days and deleted them all, in or close to tears, totally unable to focus on whatever subject I was on for all of the typos and interruptions in train of thought.
So, I've pulled out MY computer and a usb drive. I'm typing this up, gonna slap in on the drive, plug in into the asshole, connect to the internet and behold: A blog post!
I've also taken some valium.
I've been checking out some new blogs lately. I'm branching out a bit from the headache and migraine crowd and exploring the world of chronic pain and disability. I've made some additions to my blogroll, but am hungrily looking for more. So, if you know of someone or something that I'm missing, let me know.
I'm getting more irritated with the superficial, materialistic, mass hysteria-like consumerism that has infected this country. Also, ableism is really pissing me off. Britain has admitted to kidnapping children. Other dog owners at the park have taught their animals no manners. I live in the middle of a big city, and I have sensory sensitivities. Today is leaf-blower day. I'm having holiday anxiety already. I keep taking it personally when I hear someone say that they think there shouldn't be a public option, as if they are telling me that I, personally, do not deserve medical care. I really hate these bathtub commercials on tv all the time that are supposed to be more accessible (the ones with no step to get in and a door). I can't stop thinking about what would happen if the tub clogged and wouldn't drain. I haven't bothered to research whether they have a contigency plan for just such an event, I'm just being blindly irritated at this point.
It's one of those days, like I said.
My clothes washer is broken. No word yet on how long it'll take to be fixed. Luckily my parents' house is not far, and they have issued an open invite to launder with them.
I've already declared to all interested parties that I am not doing any kind of formal Thanksgiving dinner. I have relatives who will be attending who wear heavy perfumes in spite of my issues. I have suggested a quiet brunch with my parents on the morning of, since my mom has a sentimental thing with holidays. I'll be back home long before football starts. If I'm feeling good enough, maybe we'll hit the dog park, or take a walk. Holidays are a great time to do mundane things, because everyone else is too busy cooking and family-ing to get in my way and make everything all crowded and noisy.
I just started crying for no reason. Sobbing, really. I think it may have been the leaf blowers that triggered it.
Aaaah... The valium is kicking in. I think I'll switch over to editing a more cheerful post, since my rage is slowly draining away.
More...
We're having computer issues. We have two laptops, one is MINE and the other is an asshole. MY laptop refuses to install and use our new internet source, which means I've been forced to use the asshole lately. The asshole seems fine. It starts up quickly, installs and runs programs easily and plays multi-media like a dream. HOWEVER, the asshole has a few keys that are totally non-responsive. Like P. And tab, the left shift and 90% of the number keys. Using the on-screen keyboard provided by windows, I have full functionality on the asshole, it's just extremely irritating to break the rhythm of my typing groove to have to whip out the onscreen keyboard, or to use the arrow keys and delete instead of backspace when I make the inevitable typo. I tried powering through it and fixing mistakes later. It made me feel totally unbalanced, to look at my paragraphs of half-formed words underlined angrily in red. I've started probably ten different posts on the past few days and deleted them all, in or close to tears, totally unable to focus on whatever subject I was on for all of the typos and interruptions in train of thought.
So, I've pulled out MY computer and a usb drive. I'm typing this up, gonna slap in on the drive, plug in into the asshole, connect to the internet and behold: A blog post!
I've also taken some valium.
I've been checking out some new blogs lately. I'm branching out a bit from the headache and migraine crowd and exploring the world of chronic pain and disability. I've made some additions to my blogroll, but am hungrily looking for more. So, if you know of someone or something that I'm missing, let me know.
I'm getting more irritated with the superficial, materialistic, mass hysteria-like consumerism that has infected this country. Also, ableism is really pissing me off. Britain has admitted to kidnapping children. Other dog owners at the park have taught their animals no manners. I live in the middle of a big city, and I have sensory sensitivities. Today is leaf-blower day. I'm having holiday anxiety already. I keep taking it personally when I hear someone say that they think there shouldn't be a public option, as if they are telling me that I, personally, do not deserve medical care. I really hate these bathtub commercials on tv all the time that are supposed to be more accessible (the ones with no step to get in and a door). I can't stop thinking about what would happen if the tub clogged and wouldn't drain. I haven't bothered to research whether they have a contigency plan for just such an event, I'm just being blindly irritated at this point.
It's one of those days, like I said.
My clothes washer is broken. No word yet on how long it'll take to be fixed. Luckily my parents' house is not far, and they have issued an open invite to launder with them.
I've already declared to all interested parties that I am not doing any kind of formal Thanksgiving dinner. I have relatives who will be attending who wear heavy perfumes in spite of my issues. I have suggested a quiet brunch with my parents on the morning of, since my mom has a sentimental thing with holidays. I'll be back home long before football starts. If I'm feeling good enough, maybe we'll hit the dog park, or take a walk. Holidays are a great time to do mundane things, because everyone else is too busy cooking and family-ing to get in my way and make everything all crowded and noisy.
I just started crying for no reason. Sobbing, really. I think it may have been the leaf blowers that triggered it.
Aaaah... The valium is kicking in. I think I'll switch over to editing a more cheerful post, since my rage is slowly draining away.
More...
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