Wednesday, June 20, 2012

NMAM, Days 16 & 17

Get out of my way, and my favorite father are the subjects of this NMAM post.

Migraine Awareness Month #16: "Lead, follow, or get out of the way." Which role fits you and why?

I'm not much of a follower, unless I'm following something that passes my personal litmus tests, and even then, I'm always kind of on the fringes of things. Since I'm a rather unwilling leader when put in the position, I suppose that makes me a get out the way type. I do like to try new things and don't much care for the status quo, unless I can personally see the merit, but I think I'm more of an "Excuse me, I need to get through" type, since get of the out the way seems kind of rude.

Migraine Awareness Month #17: "Father Knows Best." Some understand Migraines, some don't. Write a letter to your father or the man closest to, and talk about your Migraines.

My biological father doesn't know I have migraines, as far as I know. We haven't talked in a long time. My step-father mostly ignores it. Lately he's been more generous with keeping music low or off and is totally supportive about my dietary explorations. But, he's also made some really shitty comments in the past and when I remember them, they still hurt.

I'm trying to keep my emotions on the happy side right now, depression is lurking just behind my chair and if I start thinking about things that make me sad or mad, it's likely to take the opportunity to spread that sad/mad all over the place and make a real mess. Therefore, I'd rather talk about my amazing partner, the unbelievably supportive man that I love. He is the father to our dog-baby, after all.

When I wanted to start school again, he encouraged me every step of the way, sometimes literally. When we got the opportunity to move to the mountains, even though it would demand a lot of time and work from him, he jumped at the chance and convinced me, because he knew what a change of environment would do for me.

He is one of the very few people in my life who totally understands migraines, and what they've done to me. Besides being a witness to the last five years of my life, he gets the occasional migraine himself, and he gets cluster migraines every few months to years. He's been disabled himself, though for his back, so he understands what it is to be limited physically and what it is to endure chronic pain.

He watches tv with earbuds, so the sound won't hurt me.

He makes me food when I'm too sick, no matter how he feels himself.

He provides shoulder and back massages when I can tolerate them.

He's the most compassionate person in my life.

I'm lucky to have him.