Thursday, March 5, 2009

Invisible Illness

I almost wish I had warts all over my face.

If my illness wasn't invisible, I could stop lying about how I feel. Culturally speaking, when one person asks another person how they are, the other person says Fine, or Great or even So-So. The responder generally avoids any negative answer because the asker is generally not genuinely interested and is only asking as a form of greeting. So, I am asked how I am every time I see anyone, whether they actually care and as a result I usually answer with a neutral Fine, and change the subject quickly.

If my illness wasn't invisible, I wouldn't feel like I have to defend how sick I am. I may feel like I have a hammer in my skull most of the time, but that doesn't mean I can't have a laugh. Since when does being disabled mean I am grounded for life?

If my illness wasn't invisible, I wouldn't have to talk about it so much. Explaining hurts.


Tallis said...

I completely understand where you are coming from! My sister and I joke that I should get a shirt to wear when I have a Migraine that says "I currently have a Migraine" on the front and then have an explanation of what I go through during a Migraine on the back :P It took forever for me to explain Migraines to my friends, they finally (almost) understand. The worst thing, for me, is sitting in the class and the prof yells at me about wearing sunglasses and I have to try to explain why I have them on and they don't get it, and make me take them off.