I Have Exactly Five Things To Say

1. I seem to remember the cold being friendlier. My head really doesn't appreciate all the shivering.

2. I made a sort of fried bean patty dish the other day and as far as pull-it-out-of-my-ass-improvisations go, this one was a rousing success. I enjoy cooking.

3. Sewing has been incredible. My mom gave me a wonderfully soft pullover sweater that was NOT. FLATTERING. on either of us, so I cut it down the middle and did some minor stitching to make another cozy cardigan. (In case you are keeping track at home, the score is Ugly Sweaters: 0, steph: 2) I really love making useful things out of other, less useful things, thus making them useful again. It does not escape me that this is also making me feel useful. So, it's a little like therapy, but I get clothes out of it. Bonus!

4. I walked to the farmer's market this morning with my dog. The boyfriend was sleeping, so I went solo. It was a cloudy, dreary walk. I got a few veggies and on the walk back home it rained a little. Glorious. I love days like this, despite all the little aches and pains that crop up in response to the chilly damp. I'm looking at you, left hip.

Walking in the rain in the city is a singular experience. The metallic smell, rainbow oil slicks on the asphalt, and how it's both louder and quieter, with the low storm clouds echoing every passing car and making distant sirens sound like rhythmic ghostly wails. And airplanes, unseen in the gloom, roar overhead, and their invisible engines make the very air vibrate. The rain comes down harder, reminds me of applause. I smile at my pretend audience, laugh at myself, then again when my voice is taken totally by the rain. It always surprises me.

Yep, I'm that woman standing on the sidewalk in the rain, laughing to herself as her dog takes a crap. Don't worry, I'll pick it up.

5. I've had a string of good days, followed by bad nights. I think it's because I'm waking up very early lately. I've got an icepack on now. My head feels heavy and my eyes are sore. Tomorrow I need to get a good workout, the treadmill or the bike. Maybe that'll break this pattern. Exercise usually changes something, for better or worse.