Monday, April 5, 2010


Even the silence is deafening today. I've got full-size earplugs in, as opposed to ones cut in half or thirds, and sounds are still jarring, and my normally unnoticeable tinnitus is driving me mad. I bullied myself into getting some chores done, even though I am WIPED by the activity of the last few days. My weekend was really nice; hanging out with understanding and tolerant friends, and a little quality time with the family. But I did a lot of ignoring of warning signs and covering of symptoms with drugs. I pushed myself by walking and laughing. I sat under uncomfortable lighting without my hat on out of sheer stubbornness and the totally embarrassing and vain need to "look normal" at least occasionally. So, I knew this was coming. It doesn't make it easier, but I at least know the source of the pain. I don't have to wonder if it was something I did wrong because I know it was. I'm totally giving my head the finger. And my head is punching me in the face back. Whatever, I still win.


WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

Sorta same kind of weekend, the pain payment is almost worth two days of pretend normal.

Anonymous said...

I empathize! I often find it hard to acknowledge my limits and then suffer too. It seems to be part of the process!

BTW, I changed my blog name and title from Healing Environmental Illness to Always Well Within at

If you would like to change the name and link in your blog roll here, that would be cool!

Hope you are pampering yourself now.