Monday, April 5, 2010

FTW

Even the silence is deafening today. I've got full-size earplugs in, as opposed to ones cut in half or thirds, and sounds are still jarring, and my normally unnoticeable tinnitus is driving me mad. I bullied myself into getting some chores done, even though I am WIPED by the activity of the last few days. My weekend was really nice; hanging out with understanding and tolerant friends, and a little quality time with the family. But I did a lot of ignoring of warning signs and covering of symptoms with drugs. I pushed myself by walking and laughing. I sat under uncomfortable lighting without my hat on out of sheer stubbornness and the totally embarrassing and vain need to "look normal" at least occasionally. So, I knew this was coming. It doesn't make it easier, but I at least know the source of the pain. I don't have to wonder if it was something I did wrong because I know it was. I'm totally giving my head the finger. And my head is punching me in the face back. Whatever, I still win.


2 comments:

WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

Sorta same kind of weekend, the pain payment is almost worth two days of pretend normal.

Sandra Lee said...

I empathize! I often find it hard to acknowledge my limits and then suffer too. It seems to be part of the process!

BTW, I changed my blog name and title from Healing Environmental Illness to Always Well Within at http://www.alwayswellwithin.com

If you would like to change the name and link in your blog roll here, that would be cool!

Hope you are pampering yourself now.