Face-squinching

I meant to update here a few weeks ago, if nothing else than to maintain my lovely exercise recording streak, but i have failed. FAILED.

So we're missing a few weeks from the record. There was nothing phenomenal in there anyway. This summer has been a struggle physically.

I've been using the elliptical machine when i can't deal with the hills or the weather, but I still only managed 37 days out of 90. That's the lowest I've recorded since I started recording, and that makes me sad, but everything waxes and wanes, so I'm not going to dwell on it.

I'm starting school back up in ONE WEEK! I'm so excited and nervous, I'm having anxiety dreams every night but that might also be because I've got a big family gathering coming up that spans an entire weekend. I'm super apprehensive about that too, but I know I'll be surrounded by people who care about me and I will also have my own room, earplugs, and the freedom to medicate myself as needed, so I'm aiming for optimism.

The anxiety is a pretty normal thing lately, like I've been dealing with it my whole life but never like this. I've been really proactive about naming it when I feel it, which gives me a little control and lets people around me help me if they can. My depression on the other hand, is 99% better. I have rare bad days, but mostly I am feeling back to my earnest, overdoing-it self.

Symptoms-wise, The nausea's been less, but still flares up with an increase of triggers, or car rides. I've been dealing with allodynia more. My scalp has been super tender with bruise-like spots, and yesterday I realized my face hurt. It often aches with the rest of my head, but I tried using a thc:cbd roll-on (topical cannabis) and it HURT to roll the thing over my cheek and eyebrow - intolerable, holding your breath, face-squinching pain. So that was new. Putting it on with my fingers was less painful, I think because the roller was cold. The topical did help, though!

On that topical: since cannabis was legalized in CA for medical use, the products that have come out are amazing! But now that it's legal for recreational use there have been arbitrary limits put on thc content that have made getting the good stuff impossible. I get that people are using it to get intoxicated too, but they have alcohol and all kinds of other drugs to turn to if you take away the harder cannabis products, so it's just making it harder for patients to medicate properly.

My head is the same, despite having a round of botox last month. Of course, it takes several months to take effect, and I did feel somewhat of a difference in the nature of my head pain but not its consistency or effect on my ability to person. It's been less throbby, more stabby. I've had perhaps more stamina but the repercussions of activity remain the same.

Another possibility for the stamina increase is supplements I was recommended for what the infectious disease doc thinks is chronic fatigue. I'm supposed to actually get tested and I haven't because I never leave the house, but in the mean time I've started turmeric with black pepper extract 500 mg/day. I also took ubiquinol at 100mg/day for a few weeks but I think it was disturbing my sleep. It was expensive so I'm going to try it again at some point.

And that's what's up with me I guess. :)