Saturday, December 21, 2013

Ends and Beginnings

I don't make New Years' resolutions, instead I prefer to reflect on the happenings and changes of the previous year and think about my hopes for the next.

I've always felt that resolutions are a good opportunity to think about the things we'd like to change about ourselves, but that to swear myself to changes that I may not be ready to make for the sake of an arbitrary date, it may work for some people but I'd be setting myself up for failure and disappointment. I never do anything until I'm darned ready to, and no amount of boozy holiday nostalgia is going to speed up the process.

Not that I'm drinking any booze. Thanks, migraines!

I've made all kinds of changes in my life this year. I made fitness a big priority and I've made leaps and bounds in my physical stamina.

I've gone from being a pescetarian to about 90% vegan, and it's been pretty great.

I continued to take classes, and got my gpa up to a respectable level. Now, I qualify for a boatload more scholarships, so I've got some hope in that area. I'm going to be transferring to a new school soon, and I suspect I'm going to need the financial help.

I also chose a major, and settled tentatively on a career path. I want to write, SURPRISE, and it's terrifying to embrace my deepest, oldest dream, but what else is life for than going for it?

We've got one more dog than we did a year ago, and while I was reluctant to take him, he's been nothing but a joy to have in our lives and he's firmly embedded himself in our hearts.

I chopped all my hair off and it was liberating and wonderful. It reminded me that even if everyone you know is telling you not to do something, it still might be the right thing to do.

I've had some heavy realizations about relationships. People I thought would be in my life forever have completely faded away, and while I understand, it still hurts. I try not to dwell on the people I've lost, because the people I have are so phenomenal I really don't have room in my heart for regret, but it can be startling to look around at your support system and realize that 90% of it was made up of spiderwebs and razor blades. But like I said, the people I've got left are marble and steel, so I may be lonely, but I'm still lucky.

Cooking, gardening and sewing are skills I continue to improve, some more than others. Photography has fallen by the wayside, and I miss it. I read the Sookie Stackhouse series over the summer, have watched a crapton of Star Trek, and fell in love with music again, especially lady crooners.

I'm not sure what to expect from the coming year. We'll probably move. I'm starting at the new school, so that will be a whole new routine. I've got a long list of things I want to learn, and do, and be, and I'm not quite sure which direction I'm going to head next.

Stay tuned.


Migrainista said...

Quite a year. I hope that 2014 will be a wonderful year for you. May your pain be less and your joys be plentiful.

steph said...

I hope the same for you, Migrainista. <3