So, I finally got in with a bonified headache guy.
Our first appointment was rather anticlimactic. We went over my history, I described the last almost four years as best as I could and a tentative diagnosis of ndph/chronic migraines was mentioned. They didn't have all of my records yet, so I have to go back when that gets squared away, which was pretty frustrating. The doctor is an hour away by car, which we borrowed from my mom, and next time it may be a two hour train and bus ride. I was already barely functional at the end of this appointment, I can't imagine adding four hours of buses, trains, people, and walking to that. Ugh.
It was also suggested that we might kick off my treatment with a 5-day hospital stay, with dihydroergotamine as a feature player. This terrifies me, for reasons that I can't even articulate. Every time I try to talk about it with my boyfriend, I have to struggle not to panic and cry. In fact, I have to stop writing about this right now, I'm getting too upset just writing about thinking about talking about a hospital stay. Sheesh.
On a happier note, I've been really good about exercising! In the past thirty days, I've walked outside or on my treadmill TWENTY days! It was when I started thinking of it as physical therapy that I started walking more regularly. I can get up to a decent clip on the treadmill now, and it's nice to break a sweat and get my heart rate going. When I walk outside, I go a lot slower, and often stop totally when the noise or sunshine or cigarette smoke or perfume of passing teenagers overcomes me. I don't worry about my heart rate on these walks, it's all about being outside, walking the dog, taking photos, being present and making it back home. Sometimes the exercise triggers my head, but it's worth the risk because my stamina is really obviously improving. and the better my body feels, the better my head feels. Usually.
Hopefully my work will pay off and by the time that next appointment comes up, I won't even feel the commute. Here's to wishful thinking.