Bits of Late

My boyfriend's been calling me Deafanie lately. Because of the earplugs. I think it may be the best nickname I have ever been given. Except maybe for Bubbles. Remind me to tell you about that one, sometime.

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I randomly told someone I had had acupuncture. I haven't. It was accidental, and I can't quite explain why the sentence came out of my mouth (awkward on the spot stranger asking about illness/disability? Sensory overload at Denny's? Sugar rush from the pancake puppies?) but I couldn't likely take it back once I'd said it because I was already that lady with the migraines and I didn't want to be that lady with the migraines who lies or argues with herself or is dumb or drunk or whatever it is that makes people occasionally make the crazy-face at me. So, now there's a woman walking around thinking I've had acupuncture when I haven't and I'm a little worried she'll ask me about it and it'll get even weirder. I need to hurry up and go get some acupuncture.

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I'm still on the fence about antidepressants. I don't think they'll help me, given my track record, but I feel guilty whenever I say no to a treatment, as if it means I'm not trying. I've got more to say on this, but I think it's for another post. I'm still thinking.

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I've got a new and exciting hot spot on my head. It's just above my right ear, behind my temple. I suspect that this crazy-tender spot came from the Botox, that one of my temporarily deadened knots has come back to life and is angry. The timing is about right, as I'm also regaining the use of my eyebrows again. It feels like I have a scalp hernia. I have quite a few tension-type knots in my head musculature, but none has ever hurt like this without an actual injury. I'm hoping it won't last.

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We're having a really rough time financially. My benefits were cut, (and they will be, again! Thanks Arnold!) and our rent is being raised as of next month. I'm not sure what we're going to do. But, we may have options as the reduction in my benefits has actually given me assistance opportunities from other providers, in the way of food stamps and housing assistance. Also, we may qualify for some kind of caregiver stipend. We put all the applications through last week, after talking to a very knowledgeable government employee who looked over our situation with an obvious eye of experience. If housing assistance comes through, we won't have to move right away, though we've been considering it for a while anyway. (I need to be somewhere quieter, very badly.) I am so grateful for these programs that have kept us alive and sheltered while I've been unable to work. It's funny, I never donated money to charity before I needed it myself. Now, every time we have a little extra, I give a little back.

Oh barf, are migraines making me a better person? I'm all donate-y and considerate of others now. Ugh. It's like a Lifetime movie. I don't like Lifetime movies. Though I might sell them my not very interesting story for enough money. Maybe, Valerie Bertenelli could play the older, wiser me that teaches everyone else valuable lessons on life and love. I don't know who would play present, snarky me. Maybe Fairuza Balk. She's awesome.


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My formatting is lazy and my thoughts are scattered. Everything takes more out of me when it's hot and it's taken me all week to scrap this together.


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Migraining tip of the day: If heat is a migraine trigger, keep cool! I drink water furiously, and keep my body temperature down with icepacks, frequent face and body rinses in the shower or at a sink and I keep a squirt bottle of cold, preferably ice water on hand for my own personal misting system. Happy Summer!