Because the World Needs More Wandering Compositions

So, I quit the Cymbalta. I almost immediately felt like I couldn't quite slow down, even at a stop. Jittery and anxious, I searched for more information and found out that my reaction wasn't abnormal. At first, I was going to tough it out. But then things got dramatically worse. It started messing with my sleep. I was up and down that first night, and I was miserable. The second day was just as jittery, if not worse, and my jaw was aching and triggering bolts of pain to shoot up through my temples. I was clenching my jaw involuntarily and couldn't even stop when I tried. I tried taking half a dose the next day, thinking I just needed to taper up more slowly, but nothing changed except my leg started twitching non-stop. So, I stopped taking it.

I did more internet searching, and found some FDA articles that confirmed my decision. No one had ever told me about serotonin syndrome (FDA alert from 2006) or about how difficult it is to get off of Cymbalta (pdf about Cymbalta Discontinuation Syndrome). I really wish my doctor would have, I never would have gone on it. Luckily my three day stint on the drug did not cause any withdrawal effects. I didn't really expect it to, but paid close attention to my body for the next week anyway. Part of me thinks I am silly to be this concerned about it. Doctors always seem to think so. I may try another antidepressant, but I don't want to go on something with these kinds of strings attached unless all the safer methods have been ruled out. There's got to be safer antidepressants, right?

I tried the Sumavel, too. I really hate triptans. They give me this horrible buzzy/fuzzy/electric/nauseous feeling that makes my skin crawl, in exactly the same way as morphine and whatever they've given me when they've knocked me out for surgeries. HATE. Also, I still didn't really know when to take it, so I waited until I was sure it was a migraine migraine (not wanting to waste my free sample), at which point I was well into it; in high pain, irrational and hypersensitive, which led to a panic attack over the delivery method, which, in my defense, is kind of scary the first time. And it does hurt, but not horribly. A migraining panic attack is a funny thing; it turned me back into a six-year-old with a sliver in my finger, running from the tweezers in my mother's hand, crying, "I don't want it! I don't want it!" Back then it took the promise of two ice cream sandwiches to get me to sit still for that minor surgery. Too bad that I'm now thirty-one years old, not six, and ice cream sandwiches just don't allay all fears anymore. And instead of my knows-what's-best-for-me-mother, it was my just-trying-to-help-boyfriend going, "Didn't you just ask me to do this...?" Yes. Yes, I did. And it took two valiums, but I finally succumbed. And it hurt, a little. But besides the hypospray novelty, it was the standard triptan experience. Felt weird, lay down, no real change. I was feeling better a few hours later, but it's hard to say if it was the Sumavel or if the migraine had just run its course. I haven't decided whether I'm going to fill the scrip or not.

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I submitted to another blog carnival! This one is over at Somebody Heal Me and the theme was food, for which I wrote a somewhat wandering composition to vegetable eating. Go check it out!

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A few totally non-head related items:

My smoothie du jour was fruit heavy today and is sublime. My usual spinach, yogurt and soymilk went in, but I had no bananas so I was forced to improvise. A peach and a nectarine that were a moment from turning made it a little too tart, so I added a handful of gorgeous cherries. I'm having summertime for lunch.

I've been getting crafty over here! I've altered some old clothing, a la Wardrobe Refashion and Craftster, and with tons of inspiration from Megan Nicolay's books. I'm trying to crochet this hat, or something similar and it's not going well. But I mostly successfully crocheted a shopping bag out of plastic bag yarn, and though it's a little oddly shaped, I am so pleased with it!

I'm nearing the end Stargate SG1 on Hulu (Season 9! Vala, yay!), and have started introducing myself to Lost. I had to wait for everyone to calm the hell down about it before I could even think of watching it. Now that it's over, and everyone seems to be done discussing whether they loved or hated the ending, I can finally settle into it. So far, I really like it.

I got a Waterpik and it is my new favorite thing. I'm a terrible flosser, in technique and frequency, but I LOVE shooting my gums with water. I have no idea why.

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Poor Migraining Tip of The Day:

The angle and aggression of the summer sun, in the morning in particular, has reached death glare level and I have not been responding well. So, now every window in the house is covered with sheets and mismatched drapes and random batik fabrics I've had for a hundred years. The improvisation is not very pretty, but I don't even notice because it's so nice to be able to relax in my own home. It's like a haven of dim over here.