Saturday, May 29, 2010

Improv is My Superpower

Welcome to my world. It is a place full of mystery, treasure and strange habits that I have trouble explaining. Enjoy your stay.

Showering has been a challenge since my head pain started. I've been working around it by taking shorter, more efficient showers, making some serious routine changes, and when I feel really bad, I skip it altogether and take a sink bath instead. This method has served me for three years, sacrificing neither hygiene nor spoons. Until the Botox. For a month after the injections, I couldn't take a proper shower, or even stand at the sink long enough to give myself a proper wipe down. After two weeks (oh yeah, it was funky) I was elated when I finally came up with the idea of sitting down in the shower (I know! I'm like a genius!), which led immediately to despair as I realized we had no room in our budget to buy a shower stool, which led to giddy excitement when my brain stumbled over the milk crate that had been sitting in the corner holding some old purses. A folded towel goes on top for padding, and voila! I have shower seating.

This was really the best picture I could come up with.

I found a hat! It's cute and functional so I can stop feeling like such a schlump in my boyfriend's grubby old baseball caps. A very good friend (hi!) took me out last week for a little hat searching and denny's loitering. I had decided to brave the mall knowing it held the most possibilities, including several department stores and a gajillion teenybopper boutiques that I really didn't want to have to deal with. We hit Target first. There was nothing but comedy and tragedy in the women's section, so we tried the mens' section on a whim. And there it was.

SO cute. Supposedly for a man, but adorable on me. But it was a tiny bit too small and I had to take it off after only a minute. SAD! But. The bestie suggested we check for a larger size, so we rummaged around for a bit and my heart nearly exploded out the top of my head when I spotted the ONLY extra large hat on the shelf and it was the cuuuuuute oooone! I squeed and hurt myself a little and refrained from jumping up and down but grinned like a goofball all the way to the register. I took it off only long enough for the amused checker to scan it and cut the tag off for me. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world, I had prepared myself for at least an hour of store hopping and disappointment but I had managed to find something pretty close to perfect in the first shot! The moment was glorious. Here I am, in my extra large subtly stripey man-hat, feeling pretty:

If you look closely, you can see a blond dog hair sticking up on the top of the hat. This is how everything I own looks. My dog is small, short haired and sheds like you wouldn't believe.

I've talked about using earplugs extensively. If I leave the house, I've got them in. They have proven to be an excellent solution to my phonosensitivity but were causing the unfortunate effect of irritating my ears. I don't know if my ear canals are unnaturally narrow, but the only way I can wear earplugs consistently without causing severe ear pain was to cut the plugs in halves and thirds. So, now I carry an assortment of earplugs in my pocket at all times. Bigger ones for when I'm around my youngest cousin, a howler monkey of an adorable three year old, smaller ones for indoor conversations with people I can't ask to talk quietly without them taking offense. I get some funny looks when I pull a handful of bright orange mystery blobs (so they look to the unfamiliar), study them and pick through for a moment, then select one and stick in it my ear. Once it actually goes in the ear, most people start to get it, but really, what would you think if you were out with a friend and she pulled this out of her pocket:

and then started shoving things in her ears? My experience says, you'd be confused and might call me weird. It's cool.

I can't hear you anyway.


Migrainista said...

that's great!!!

WinnyNinny PooPoo said...

Your earplugs look sorta like the old fashioned circus peanut candies. Maybe passers by will think you are putting candy in your ears!!! :)

steph said...

I'm going to start telling people that they are candy. :)

KD said...

Cool post. I use ear plugs, but only @ night to sleep (or in really loud concerts.) I may consider them for other scenarios. That hat is super-cute. I wish I looked good in hats!

Dana Marton said...

Great post! like the hat and the ear plug idea!

Faren said...

I used to use foam earplugs then I discovered musician's earplugs. They cut down the noise level without muffling it like the foam ones do, they were nice and clear. Mine were about $15. Not sure that they would work for everyone, but are a different option.

steph said...

I've looked into custom earplugs in the past and have been intimidated by the prices. $15 isn't too bad, though! Where did you get yours?