The Struggle is Real

Every day for the past week, I've awakened with head pain. My neck and shoulders feel like I tried to lift an elephant, or perhaps a grand piano. I did neither, I have no idea why my muscles feel as if they've been wrenched and twisted like moorings in a hurricane. It's interfering with sleep, and the pain is going straight to my head, of course. Which isn't surprising, I swear toe pain goes straight to my head.

So, I'm plodding through my days right now. I go for my morning hike, but it's much slower than usual and it's the only thing I do some days. I'm nauseated all the time. I can't bend over, reach, or turn my head too quickly without feeling ill, faint, or confused. It's the usual low-level of symptoms, kicked up a notch or five. As a consequence, I'm not getting much done around the house. I might over-medicate later to get some dishes done. I'll likely pay for it, but I can't live in filth.

I got an Obamaphone. Despite being free, it is not awesome. I have no reception where I live, or anywhere within a several minute walk, so it's useless to my basically housebound self. My boyfriend is going to look into it, see if he can connect a phone of our choosing, or if they can send me something with decent reception. It's a hassle, but I'm hoping they are still working out the kinks because it's an awesome program for those of us who can't afford phones.

I'm considering school in the fall. I'm intimidated though because I don't have a great support system and really don't think I can handle it. This may be a self-confidence issue, because I certainly struggle with that, but it's also a reality of chronic migraines. I'm limited by my illness and there's only so much schools will accommodate. But, school's not going anywhere, and it's not like I'm not enriching myself in other ways, but my little brother and a friend of mine are both starting college in the fall and I am positively green with envy. I'm excited and happy for both of them, but still, so envious.