So, here it is. The obligatory sex post. Every blog has its moment, whether it's a watery allusion to making love or an ode to kink, at some point every blogger has to consider what sex means, in the context of their lives and blog. Not everyone actually writes about it, of course, but I like to think everyone wants to.
My boyfriend and I don't have as much sex as I'd like. My chronic migraines and probable interstitial cystitis (IC) and his long-term, chronic, serious back pain don't lend themselves to the sexytimes. We cuddle. We hold hands in bed. We talk about everything, say I love you, hug and kiss freely, and I would consider our intimacy to be better than it's ever been. But, when we have sex, our combined pain and disabilities can make it awkward or frustrating and sometimes one of us has to stop and cry because something has gone painfully wrong. But we continue to try anyway because when it works, it's still pretty fantastic.
The benefits of sex are fairly obvious to most of us in pain, some really nice endorphins start pumping (heh), which lessen pain and improve mood. Then, there's the distraction element of physical intimacy; concentrating on feeling pleasure, and other sensations in general, can dull or even obliterate pain, at least temporarily.
But, the risk for both of us is high. If he angers his back, he could be flat for a week, or worse, he could require surgery again. If I anger my head, I could be flat for a week, and if I wake up the monster that is IC, it might trigger a fiery flare that could last months.
Still, I would like more sex. Everything hurts my head anyway, so why not have a trigger that's awesome? As for the IC, if I'm very, very careful during sex and don't EVER eat or drink anything caffeinated, acidic or high in refined sugars, I'll be fine! Probably!
My boyfriend, though, his back is a bigger issue. We can get creative with pillows and positions, but it's a huge risk for him every time. Degenerative back issues run in his family, so there's no easy fix here.
It's funny that I used to think sex was all about passion, fire, lust and spontaneity. Now, it's more a matter of patience, caution and calculated risk-taking.
Still hot, though.