tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91003881961418292992012-01-27T12:30:38.198-08:00My head hurts. Here is where I write about it.stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.comBlogger2211100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-44351980260525794732012-01-27T07:52:00.000-08:002012-01-27T07:52:14.490-08:00

This isn't my usual subject matter. I'm applying for scholarships, and castleink.com has asked its applicants to share how we reduce, reuse and recycle. It would be my pleasure. I've been fortunate enough to have recycling be a major part of garbage handling since I was very young, so it's been a habit for as long as I can remember to separate plastic, glass and paper. As a child, I was

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-87915196267636795332012-01-22T11:50:00.000-08:002012-01-22T11:50:55.918-08:00

These migraines don't just stay in my head. No, they travel down my neck, stiffening my spine, then reach out into every fiber of my being. Even my skin becomes so sensitive, I find everyday clothes rather difficult to wear. So, I've developed some tricks to making clothes more comfortable, because it's too cold to go naked. #1 Hateful Item of Clothing: Bras. I wear about a 34-36 D. My

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-28603689645863625432012-01-17T08:33:00.000-08:002012-01-17T08:34:55.192-08:00

I feel like I'm constantly struggling to catch up. The dishes are never all done at the same time. There's always a basket of laundry looking at me, either waiting to be washed or folded and shelved. And a blog post, there always seems to be a blog post that needs writing, but hardly ever enough simultaneous creativity, mental acuity, and time with which to craft something interesting with

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-57392247339964306872012-01-05T07:42:00.000-08:002012-01-05T07:42:00.464-08:00

So, here it is. The obligatory sex post. Every blog has its moment, whether it's a watery allusion to making love or an ode to kink, at some point every blogger has to consider what sex means, in the context of their lives and blog. Not everyone actually writes about it, of course, but I like to think everyone wants to. My boyfriend and I don't have as much sex as I'd like. My chronic

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-89748025561104004002011-12-31T08:01:00.000-08:002011-12-31T08:01:00.661-08:00

It was a year of doing. I was tired of feeling like migraines were dictating my life, so I took every possible opportunity I could, and most of them turned out pretty well. I went to Hempcon, and I started learning more about marijuana and how to use it. I had myself a garden again. I love growing food. I practiced creativity, sometimes in odd ways. I went back to school! We wouldn't

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-5678029498676818672011-12-27T21:04:00.000-08:002011-12-27T21:04:05.382-08:00

After spending the last two months in these remarkably restorative mountains, I thought christmas would be easier on me this year. Nope. Not to say it wasn't a lovely holiday, because it was fantastic in that I spent time with family and friends, ate some amazing food, and soaked in the all xmasy ambience I could find. I was loving on the decorations this year, I wish we could have another month

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-34970506674335552292011-12-19T14:28:00.000-08:002011-12-21T09:37:45.669-08:00

I'm done. I've finished this class and though I'm pretty sure it took a piece of my soul with it, I can't wait to take another one. It looks like I'm getting an A, too, which makes the whole thing really addictive. Like I hear happens with childbirth, I'm quickly forgetting the pain, tears, frustration, and the sky-high stress levels that sent me into some seriously torrential migraine activity.

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-65881340361160197232011-12-14T15:24:00.000-08:002011-12-14T15:24:29.465-08:00

Hello. I'm currently submerged in writing a paper, so all I can manage for a blog post is a weird list of topics that I don't have time to elaborate on at the moment. 1. My head. My stamina is continuing to improve, and even when things got markedly worse one day, I recuperated in record time. However, every trip to the city or prolonged conversation with a neighbor reminds me that I am not

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-27556424549823791692011-11-30T09:57:00.000-08:002011-11-30T09:57:13.066-08:00

So, I turned in that very stressful project. I have not a guess as to what grade I'm going to get, only that it'll only be worth half the points, since it was so late. And there's another project coming for me already. Hopefully I'll get this one done in a reasonable amount of time. I'm not sure if I should register for next quarter. It's $50 this time, and I can't really afford it without

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-17399366386764450092011-11-21T07:25:00.000-08:002011-11-21T07:25:24.222-08:00

That project is due tonight. And there's no way I'm going to make it. I emailed my teacher a few days ago, explained my situation and asked for an extension. I understand that she has no obligation to help me out, but when I saw her reply, that she "couldn't have a different set of rules for me and another for the rest of the class", I broke down. And I continue to break down. I feel like

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-37420099890180083612011-11-13T14:55:00.000-08:002011-11-13T14:55:02.584-08:00

I still haven't really gotten anywhere with my school project. It's due in only a week, so I finally caved and emailed my counselor. I've been trying, is the thing. For the past few weeks, almost every day I've sat down at the computer to look for resources and I'll make it through maybe one possibility before my eyes start crossing from my total inability to make pdfs migraine friendly (I

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-47007623151606578242011-11-05T09:01:00.000-07:002011-11-05T09:01:29.218-07:00

Oh, school. Why do you have to be so amazing and so intimidating at the same time? So far, it's been so good. I've completed our weekly assignments on time and with good feedback, I've gotten A's and B's on all my quizzes, and I've felt pretty confident about the material and my grasp of it. But now, there's a bigger assignment. It's worth more points and requires more time and effort, not to

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-53005215420899452592011-11-01T16:55:00.000-07:002011-11-01T16:55:02.581-07:00

My life has changed, and it seems to be for the better. As long as we don't get smashed. We're improving the driveway as we speak. There's a guy in an awesome little tractor-type machine digging and moving and filling and spreading rocks outside my house and I am wearing an earplug for the first time since being up here, but it's fine by me. It's supposed to rain later this week, so it's great

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-33230735883837815702011-10-25T08:29:00.000-07:002011-10-25T08:29:20.493-07:00

Then, there's the mud. Like I mentioned, the cabin we've moved into wasn't inhabited for a quite a few years. Runoff from the rain runs right past our little house, and our driveway, which then becomes some serious mud. Past tenants have filled the driveway, there's evidence of a few types of rocks and gravel, concrete and pottery pieces, but without maintenance and regular refills, all the

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-87005846265544813362011-10-20T09:03:00.000-07:002011-10-20T09:03:51.996-07:00

So, this is how the move went down, as well as I can recall it: Our landlord's been raising the rent on us as often as he can, as much as he can. We were in this weird place financially where we couldn't afford to move out, but we certainly couldn't afford to stay. We've been trying to find a suitable place to live, but that's harder than it sounds when you've got a chronic migraineur in the mix

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-64851612605860926292011-10-18T10:45:00.000-07:002011-10-18T10:45:50.254-07:00

I was a little worried that once we got up here, into the quiet and calm redwood forest, that I wouldn't have as much to write about. I wouldn't be trapped in the house nearly as much, so I might not feel the need to write out my every waking thought. Well, surprise, surprise! Because it's been nothing but action around here. Let's start with the school stuff. Last week, I had to call my

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-81983699995210523102011-10-13T18:42:00.000-07:002011-10-13T18:42:47.616-07:00

We're surrounded by coastal redwoods, trees that tower over our little house and filter the sunlight so efficiently that I can usually go outside without a hat or sunglasses. I haven't done that in years. The country is so quiet. There are a few neighbors above us, who use the road that runs right past our place a few times a day, but otherwise, there's not a soul around. We've still got a

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-53444743745322869472011-10-04T12:49:00.000-07:002011-10-04T22:07:43.929-07:00

My head is being pushed to the absolute limit right now. School has started. I'm keeping up so far, and I'm really liking the teacher and the class, so that's been pretty great. We're moving to the mountains, which is going to be a big change for this lifetime city girl. Before moving into the the new place, we're remodeling quite a bit. My boyfriend's doing the bulk of the demolition and

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-48356243326008213092011-09-29T14:41:00.000-07:002011-09-29T14:41:00.072-07:00

Outside of my home, I wear sunglasses pretty much constantly. So, I'm rather picky about them. They can't be too tight or too heavy, lest they trigger a migraine. They must have large lenses and they must be adequately protective from light. Doesn't sound TOO hard, does it? I know many of you are rolling your eyes right now, you know what it's like. The cheap sunglasses at the gas station and

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-573422755350994262011-09-25T11:13:00.000-07:002011-09-25T11:13:22.858-07:00

This last week or two has been the most active I've probably been in four years, maybe excepting christmastime, but this was all voluntary! I think it's a combination of getting better at anticipating migraine problems and planning for them, and the excitement of new experiences that's making it easier to stay moving. In the past week, I've: -Gone to my NEW SCHOOL OMG to get my asb card. I keep

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-33728564318163352302011-09-19T13:38:00.000-07:002011-09-19T13:38:09.537-07:00

I made small talk with a cousin of a cousin, an acquaintance since childhood. We hadn't seen each other in years, so she showed me pictures of her kids, and I told her they were cute, as you do. She asked me what I do for work. I really need to plan an answer that doesn't leave the door open for asshat remarks, because when I said that I don't, that I'm disabled by chronic migraines, she

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-22145003107852387262011-09-14T10:02:00.000-07:002011-09-14T10:02:44.494-07:00

This past week or four has gone by quickly. I've been as busy as a chronic migraineur can be, and have been productive, in my own quiet way. Cooking has been a prominent activity, as often as I can tolerate the heat required for most projects. I've been making my own yogurt, sauerkraut and veggie broth long enough for them to feel like comfortable habits, and I like being that person who can

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-50269653969258327602011-09-07T08:48:00.000-07:002011-09-07T08:48:19.962-07:00

My self-prescribed physical therapy has been so difficult to keep up this summer. It's too hot and too bright to go outside whenever I please, and when I try, I don't usually last long. I start feeling mentally removed and physically smothered. I can't think, I'm irritable, my skin itches, my clothes are weighted and suffocating, and I start feeling heavier, almost flu-like. I can extend my

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-73031737001193834502011-09-01T06:27:00.000-07:002011-09-01T06:27:00.222-07:00

As I mentioned, the cannabis is going pretty well. There was another Hempcon a few months ago, but I wasn't able to go, since the $20 cover was a little out of reach and it's just too chaotic a scene for me. But, my boyfriend, the amazing extrovert, made some interesting contacts and gave me the opportunity to try some new products. First, my very favorite marijuana consumable company, Electric

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-82100560369994334482011-08-27T23:09:00.000-07:002011-08-27T23:09:58.970-07:00

I've been experimenting with marijuana, and it's been good. The last time I wrote about my cannabis consumption, I was pretty pleased with my experience. Most of the pills I've tried (painkillers, triptans, preventatives of all shapes and sizes) haven't worked, and any relief I did have was short-lived or overwhelmed by negative side effects. Not so with the pot, it's amazing to me how much

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-10759501079972595712011-08-23T09:52:00.000-07:002011-08-23T09:52:57.021-07:00

I had a dream that I was singing for a group of people. It was going badly and I was embarrassed, so my song went quiet. But when I looked at the faces of people around me, they were all smiling, rooting for me, enjoying my terrible music. I shucked off the embarrassment as I flung my head back and sang loudly and proudly. As my confidence grew, my voice started sounding amazing, and I hit notes

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-75418460444687056552011-08-18T23:58:00.000-07:002011-08-18T23:58:04.685-07:00

I'm officially a student again. Summer quarter was a bust. Between money, the classes that were available, the shorter quarter (say shorter quarter out loud several times, it turns into shoulda coulda, which totally screwed with my head), and the effect the summer heat has on my migraines, I just couldn't make it work. It was pretty depressing to make all that progress, and then to just stop.

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-28307383941598838742011-08-14T05:11:00.000-07:002011-08-14T10:59:13.968-07:00

Some days, I have no idea why he stays, others I'm not sure why I do. Chronic pain can make us intolerable, hateful, ugly people. It can make us retreat into ourselves or explode, give up and give in, cry and scream, check out or check ourselves in. It's hard to be around myself sometimes, let alone someone else with his own set of pains and the accompanying baggage. But I need the company. I

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-47376145221751600572011-08-08T17:57:00.000-07:002011-08-08T17:57:40.249-07:00

I'm trying to go back to school. I'm severely disabled and can hardly leave the house, but I want to get an education, and hope to be able to support myself again someday. Until then, I'm resigned to asking for help. Help. I can take an online class this quarter through my old community college, and take that first step towards an AA, but I need $60 to register. I'm told all of my other costs

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-87864010901126209342011-08-05T11:07:00.000-07:002011-08-05T11:07:01.203-07:00

A person in my vicinity complains of a headache**. Then: 1. They shoot me a guilty look and apologize. I (try to) smile and say something like, "I don't have a monopoly on headaches, you go right ahead." 2. They shoot me a look of sympathy and start praising me like a martyr-saint, super-strong, amazing-inspiration to us all. I (try to) smile and say thanks and change the subject. 3. They

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-89974624262114655182011-07-31T13:47:00.000-07:002011-07-31T13:47:15.481-07:00

Hand-washing the dishes has changed how I do things lately. It's a marathon, not a sprint, and some thoughtful planning goes a long way in increasing efficiency. Like life! When our dishwasher first broke, I was pretty distressed. I hadn't hand washed a dish in a while, was out of practice, and resented that it was MY job to wash the dishes when I'm not the one using every single cup in the

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-753488000886117252011-07-26T22:09:00.000-07:002011-07-26T22:09:23.425-07:00

Did I mention that my bike was stolen? People suck. The weather cooled off a little this week and I've been wanting to celebrate by trying not to fall off a bike again, but since we have no money, we can't afford to get me another one. My boyfriend is going to try to cobble one together, he's got some junk parts and an old frame he thinks he can use, but I really wish I could get a bike that

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-58738429035787755342011-07-22T17:34:00.000-07:002011-07-31T12:04:10.749-07:00

I walked to my parents' house this morning. They live about three quarters of a mile away, crossing two busy streets and three residential. It was very warm, already well into the 80's at noon. The sun was high and hot, and I carried an umbrella as shelter. My head started throbbing with every step only halfway into the walk, so I stopped and sat on some benches to rest. The heat can wear me

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-54771002869074465912011-07-16T11:25:00.000-07:002011-07-16T11:25:48.218-07:00

The turnout was small on this giveaway, but the stakes were high! (Hee, I love all this drama.) And the winner is... ... HEATHER from War on Headaches! Congratulations and I hope you enjoy your care package, courtesy of the lovely Jessica, of Painfully Speaking. Thanks again Jess! _______________________________________ I went to the beach recently. It was a cloudy day,

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-5692802222385445942011-07-12T14:30:00.000-07:002011-07-12T14:30:36.360-07:00

When my head hurts and I can't do anything else, I turn to tv. On the internet, of course. Nurse Jackie, because Edie Falco is wonderful and the rest of the cast ain't bad either (ZOEY!). The writing is quick and interesting and the storylines are believable and surprising. Doctor Who. I love sci-fi, comedy and drama, but put them all together in one show and I'm addicted. Buffy the Vampire

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-6018081217854974652011-07-08T17:03:00.000-07:002011-07-08T18:26:57.539-07:00

I've been hesitant to jump back into the pharmaceutical abyss, which means I haven't gone back to the super special specialist and have still not come anywhere close to agreeing to that hospital stay. I've had some guilt over it, as if I'm not doing enough to make myself better, and some anxiety, because while I have personal issues with doctors and hospitals, I want so badly to be free again,

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-56119579515939635342011-07-04T06:00:00.000-07:002011-07-04T06:00:01.241-07:00

I have a long history with the 4th of July. Mostly that I hate it. As a child, I could rarely be calmed from my shrieks of terror at the thunderous noise of fireworks. I would cower and hide my face in my mother's shirt. Each explosion would vibrate my entire body, it had to be that we would all die. I was probably tired from a long, hot day of summer fun, overloaded by all of the stimulation,

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-12942828113984251162011-07-01T08:35:00.000-07:002011-07-26T22:08:19.207-07:00

I recently got a care package in the mail from a fellow migraineur and blogger, Jessica, over at Painfully Speaking. And there will be presents to celebrate! Oh, there's a special delight that comes with receiving packages in the mail. The postal carrier is no longer an everyday background drone going about his business, nearly invisible to the naked eye. Suddenly, that busy man in blue is

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-5557593879099823102011-06-26T11:20:00.000-07:002011-06-26T11:20:01.149-07:00

So, we've been growing some pot plants in the bedroom bay window and it's been so exciting watching them grow! We staked them, determined sex, were thrilled to see them flower, and then there was the fateful moment when we realized that what we actually had were tomato plants. They grow up so fast. Sniff. I've never grown pot before. It's legal where I live, with a prescription of course, and it

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-87300403803308233742011-06-22T17:04:00.000-07:002011-06-22T17:06:13.582-07:00

I locked myself out of my house today. I was wearing a flimsy housedress, flip-flops and sunglasses. I stepped out onto the porch for only a minute, to water my garden, and realized my error the moment the door shut. That click is unmistakeable. I had no earplugs, no hat, no water (other than a fertilizer-tainted pitcherful for the plants), I was barely dressed, neither my boyfriend nor our

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-69874427317189934862011-06-17T13:35:00.000-07:002011-06-17T13:35:30.620-07:00

First, the good news. I contributed to a migraine blog carnival over at Somebody Heal Me. Now, the bad news. Unfortunately, this category has several more items. My dog got sick and I thought she was going to die, mostly because I don't understand how dog sickness works. She's fine now. Then the food stamp people needed more paperwork all of a sudden? I don't know what happened, but we've

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-52475064097238514462011-06-10T00:28:00.000-07:002011-06-10T00:33:31.502-07:00

I've seen several massage therapists, before and after migraines, and it can be an invaluable therapy. But I've found that, for me, personality matters just as much as technique. And of course, I've had a series of uncomfortable moments I'd like to share with the class to support this statement. The first massage therapist I ever saw was a guy that my employer contracted to come in every other

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-3809520386075235902011-06-05T20:03:00.000-07:002011-06-05T20:03:09.243-07:00

After three years of all these migraines, I was still never quite sure that the weather ever had any affect. I have head pain and weird neurological symptoms pretty much daily, so it can be harder to pinpoint triggers when everything is blending together. Also, the weather in my area is pretty mild; we don't get snow but once every ten years, and our summers can be hot, but we don't spend much

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-88460806157925660502011-06-01T21:44:00.000-07:002011-06-02T11:54:05.935-07:00

My migraine symptoms wax and wane, depending on what I'm doing, my environment, how medicated I am, and which way the wind is blowing. The pain changes frequently. There are old standbys; my eyes, temples, jaw, teeth, and occipital area are all pretty consistent with the gnawing or stabbing or throbbing or aching. But often, I'll be surprised by a wallop to the side of my head, or a persistent

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-13249328237858236562011-05-27T22:33:00.000-07:002011-05-27T22:36:29.316-07:00

Things that are bringing me out of my funk: 1. I cut my hair off. I lopped off several inches and it's now just above my shoulders. The coolest part is that I cut it myself, with a little help from the boyfriend. 2. I finally saw the last season of Lost. Closure is so satisfying. 3. I've been experimenting with marijuana extracts and it's going well! It's not just for brownies anymore,

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-37966409098998315502011-05-21T14:32:00.000-07:002011-05-21T14:32:47.469-07:00

I'm not doing so great lately. Pain. Day in, day out. It wakes me in the night, it interrupts everything. I feel stalked and harassed. I can't move a muscle without migraines peeking over my shoulder, reminding me to stay inside, in the quiet, don't even try because it's just going to hurt, I don't need a life anyway, do I? From there, it just gets uglier. It's partly being so broke. The

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-38773965826251916272011-05-14T13:57:00.000-07:002011-05-14T13:57:47.291-07:00

Blogger ate this post (originally posted on the 11th) and hasn't fixed it. So, I am reposting. Sorry for the lost comments, everyone! The garden is small, but doing well. I'm about to plant some more greens, having suddenly realized that my current supply would be hard-pressed to ever meet my demand. Poor little arugula and green leaf lettuce. I barely let you grow before I eat you. And I'm

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-80831458591635883092011-05-08T22:53:00.000-07:002011-05-08T22:53:46.905-07:00

It's spring, which means several things to me. 1. I'm rather sneezy and itchy and nose-blowy. 2. It's my four-year chronic migraine anniversary. 3. Summer is coming. The allergies are no big, mostly. I've had hay fever my whole life so I have a lot of practice ignoring these kinds of symptoms, but my head, not so much. Sneezing and nose-blowing are keeping my pain levels up, never below a

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-34586944410066582032011-05-04T12:02:00.000-07:002011-05-04T12:02:58.937-07:00

Last weekend was the most active I've been in a while. On Friday, I hung out with a friend until the wee hours of the morning and had such a good time that I felt almost normal. But I was, of course, totally overmedicating to compensate for the nearly immediate migrainous repercussions of hysterical laughter. So, I rested for most of Saturday. Then, on Sunday, I woke feeling good enough to

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-5060172963502663572011-05-02T10:27:00.000-07:002011-05-02T10:27:00.956-07:00

Did I mention we got food stamps? It is THRILLING. I can afford produce again. My fully stocked and overflowing fruit bowl. We were really in trouble for a minute there. We're not nearly out of the woods yet, financially speaking, but the food stamps will make a huge difference. (Actually it's not stamps anymore, the program is called now called SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-29972796156187450262011-04-27T10:23:00.000-07:002011-04-27T10:23:57.169-07:00

Easter was surprisingly spectacular. I like to semi-joke that I expect (and plan for) every situation to turn out terribly. Then, when things don't end in third-degree burns and a divorce, I'm pleasantly surprised! The party was at my parents' place, which is a little less than a mile from our house. So, we walked over early to spend time with the immediate family, and it worked out really

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-30952490557893028112011-04-24T10:08:00.000-07:002011-04-24T10:08:00.084-07:00

Last week, I went (with my trusty boyfriend in tow) to see the disabilities coordinator at my local community college. There was an hour-long bus ride, each way. It was rather horrible, but I actually thought it would be worse. A woman who stank of perfume sat next to us for 20 minutes, I sucked mints and breathed with my sweater over my face until she got off the bus. (I could have moved, but

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-14718865072413041072011-04-19T17:55:00.000-07:002011-04-19T17:55:11.355-07:00

We don't get out much around here. I used to be a huge drive-in movie lover, but can't really tolerate the big screen experience anymore, even when I'm safely cocooned in my own car. The first problem is that we don't actually have a car right now. We can't afford to insure, register, gas and maintain our old one, so it's sitting at a dealership, just waiting for just the right family to scoop

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-19484031212999318512011-04-14T13:50:00.000-07:002011-04-22T19:22:12.838-07:00

I've always been resistant to change. It scares me. But things have got to change for me. I'm not happy. I feel useless and uninteresting. My life is aimless and painful. And it's suffocating me. So, I'm still moving forward, very slowly, on the schooling front. I'll have an appointment with the disabilities folks in the next week or so. It still may not pan out for several reasons, and I still

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-64680754716835263772011-04-09T22:14:00.000-07:002011-04-10T15:39:54.796-07:00

I just read Kafka's most famous story, The Metamorphosis, for the first time. If you haven't read it yet, I'm about to spoil it to death. I went into the book (It's free here!) only knowing that the main character, Gregor Samsa, wakes one morning to find himself turned into an insect, something very similar to a cockroach. I didn't anticipate at all how much Gregor's change would remind me of

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-23372365936285959382011-04-03T22:00:00.000-07:002011-04-03T22:07:07.133-07:00

An artist I am not, but I've been having some bedtime anxiety lately and have found drawing to be an excellent calming activity. I simply crawl into bed with my (handy-dandy) notebook and pen and doodle whatever comes until I fall asleep. Here are a few of my more interesting (and oddly violent) drawings. Arrow through the eye and axe in the skull. Also, some fruit! I've been obsessed

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-3492057816916815832011-03-27T10:54:00.000-07:002011-03-27T10:54:06.067-07:00

So, everyone is pulling for me to do this hospital stay. I understand why, and part of me is totally gung ho. But there's this other part of me that won't be silenced and that part of me is having fits of panicky fear every time I try to logic it all out. I'm trying to think of ways to make it less scary. Researching the facility I'd be staying in, finding out the specifics, might help. Will I

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-75089554718595743172011-03-21T23:32:00.000-07:002011-03-21T23:32:31.402-07:00

It seems like every six months I get the itch to go back to school, and then something comes up to derail the process before I get very far. The car catches on fire, or we have to move two or three times in as many months or I'm just soooo busy with my job and social life, or I'm laid out by migraines all the time. Excuses, excuses. So, it's not really any kind of a big deal, but I filled out a

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-83852594689804522362011-03-15T21:38:00.000-07:002011-03-15T21:38:38.563-07:00

So, I finally got in with a bonified headache guy. Our first appointment was rather anticlimactic. We went over my history, I described the last almost four years as best as I could and a tentative diagnosis of ndph/chronic migraines was mentioned. They didn't have all of my records yet, so I have to go back when that gets squared away, which was pretty frustrating. The doctor is an hour away

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-34842106925706960762011-03-09T13:21:00.000-08:002011-03-09T18:35:57.220-08:00

**Trigger Warning** The following story includes bullying and physical abuse. Somewhere around fourth grade, a seemingly normal group of kids I went to school with started hurting each other. Punching in the arm, indian burns (is there a non-racist term for this?), hair pulling, pushing, and that awful hand-slapping game where it's a race to see who flinches or misses first. These hurting games

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-70556752875954354582011-03-03T11:34:00.000-08:002011-03-03T11:34:00.628-08:00

This story really starts after I'd left my local Old Navy storefront in a migraine haze, from the music being pumped in so loud that my industrial earplugs were no match and my head exploded all over the creepy torso mannequins and plastic flip-flops. But, I had gift cards! That needed to be spent! So, I went to the website, signed up for email deals and lo! very shortly thereafter, I got a

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-53700488957148126582011-02-27T11:26:00.000-08:002011-02-27T11:26:00.230-08:00

By now, I'm sure most of you have seen the footage of a reporter, Serene Branson, whose speech became garbled nonsense on air. There was initial speculation that she was intoxicated or having a stroke, but no, it was a migraine. I watched this news report, in which she is interviewed about the incident, and I cried. I cried because of the fear and confusion in her face, as she realizes she can't

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-89030595782446311432011-02-21T09:38:00.000-08:002011-02-21T09:38:58.097-08:00

I'm taking a little break this week, but I still have some top quality migraine content to share! So, please give a warm welcome to a fellow migraineur and blogger, and my friend, Christine. Hi everyone, my name is Christine. I write about eco-friendliness at Simple Savvy, love agave ketchup, and have been getting migraines once or twice a week for the past five years. I er... also don’t have

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-11374554330658175882011-02-14T14:52:00.000-08:002011-02-14T14:54:03.379-08:00

There were some loose ends from Christmas that have been nagging at me. Pictures were taken but have remained unposted, and leftover baked goods were taking up valuable real estate in my freezer, long past their expected move-out date. So, I woke up today with a plan. I gave everyone I saw during the holidays a crocheted plastic bag and some muffins, banana or pumpkin spice. I was panicked all

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-35153620355623409252011-02-11T20:37:00.000-08:002011-05-14T13:53:59.293-07:00

I was hesitant to garden again. My last one was nearly two years ago. It started out with sprouting a few seeds from grocery store produce. Then a few more. Then a sad seedling had to be saved at the farmer's market. And wouldn't it be nice to grow our own salads? Before I'd really thought it through, I had a couple of tomato plants, three kinds of peppers, strawberries, eggplant, zucchini,

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-55494803450337418772011-02-06T12:55:00.000-08:002011-02-11T18:23:11.954-08:00

I got a couple of Old Navy giftcards for Christmas and my birthday. So, I tried to spend them last week. Tried. I walked into the store, and the music was loud. Like, raise your voice to be heard loud. I put a second earplug in and was disappointed when the noise was only dampened. The whiny rock the kids listen to these days (lol) pierces my cranium, earplugs be damned. My boyfriend asked an

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-64100672543843279692011-01-30T08:56:00.000-08:002011-08-09T12:19:56.873-07:00

Just when I thought I was done writing about marijuana for a little while, HempCon came to town. Reminder: Medicinal cannabis (pot, marijuana) is legal in my neck of the states, and I have a prescription. I adhere to all laws to the best of my knowledge, and encourage you to do the same. I also encourage you to seek out whatever gives you pain relief, in the best way you can. I spent the

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-75588145784046867982011-01-23T20:16:00.000-08:002011-01-23T20:16:44.979-08:00

And I'm sick again. The hell. Since I've been unable to leave my house without abject misery, keeping happy and entertained is essential. The internet provides me with all the movies and tv I can zone out on, and for that, I am so grateful. But all that passive input tends to leave my brain feeling soft-boiled, and it does nothing for the claustrophobic panic that can set in when I've been

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-25159621833500638302011-01-17T16:42:00.000-08:002011-01-17T16:42:00.325-08:00

So, I've gone over my usage of marijuana for pain relief. In real life, I'm not exactly secretive about it, but I certainly don't volunteer the information unless it's necessary. There are a few reasons I avoid the subject of my pain relief. The big one is stigma. I'm already a young woman who accepts government assistance because I am severely disabled by my chronic migraines. I count five

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-84913369703568903522011-01-16T22:49:00.000-08:002011-01-16T22:49:00.984-08:00

I've been spending WAY too much time on the computer. Though, I've been getting on the treadmill regularly enough, and I've been doing my stretches, so I forgive myself for my inactivity. I'm trying to stay mobile, but I've been on the crappier end of the head spectrum pretty consistently since christmas. Here's my theory as to why: Firstly, christmas was super christmasy. But, I was actually

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-85534303337373285202011-01-10T12:13:00.000-08:002011-01-10T12:22:27.710-08:00

So, it's going to be my birthday in a few days. I'm keeping it quiet, don't tell anyone. 32. Thirty-two. It doesn't matter much this year. I've been really focused on making myself better lately. My head has been consistently ignoring my attempts, but my soul reacts like dried brush catching flame, in a good way. I walked to the farmer's market yesterday morning. I couldn't handle the bike.

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-51812393992512626272011-01-04T10:16:00.000-08:002011-01-04T10:16:19.423-08:00

Since the holidays have sucked all my energy, I haven't been able to exercise much recently. In fact, just walking the dog down the block is so taxing and head triggering that I had to sit down for about six hours and write this post. A picture of me (a woman with brown hair, a gray cap, oversized green sweatshirt and dark blue jeans) and my dog (a blonde, small chihuahua mix wearing a blue

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-69503049386052402382010-12-28T18:16:00.000-08:002010-12-28T18:16:00.108-08:00

Now that Christmas is officially over, and I'm safely back home with my icepack and chamomile within easy reach, bundled up under blankets and basking in the glow of my desktop monitor, I feel like reflecting. The Three Day Christmas Extravanganza had some really great moments, some mediocre moments and only a handful of terrible moments. I only had to beg off for two of the five gatherings I

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-55507632968568362562010-12-23T11:10:00.000-08:002010-12-23T17:05:53.428-08:00

I recently wrote about disability, and ended the post thinking that being disabled has probably made me a better person. Pain, on the other hand, has brought out my dark side. Pain has taught me pessimism and paranoia, I'm always looking for the next trigger or preparing for the next big migraine takedown. It's made me fearful, and every new ache and pain now has the potential to last forever.

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-88588321488013855222010-12-16T10:22:00.000-08:002010-12-16T10:43:33.489-08:00

It's been a slow week at chez steph, due to a three day stint with some serious depression that I'm pretty sure was caused by ibuprofen. Really. I've been dabbling in depression since the migraines took over, but have thus far been able to avoid being depressed depressed. I can get out of bed in the morning and go for walks and try to make myself better on sad days with endorphins and whatnot

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-10582340184784361502010-12-11T04:37:00.000-08:002010-12-11T04:37:00.700-08:00

Migraines knock me down nearly every day, but I keep getting back up. Because even if I stay down, even if I stop trying, I'm still going to get hit. I thought about this when I fell off my bike recently, how I barely even checked my (minor) wounds, just got back on the bike and kept moving. What's dwelling on the pain going to do? I could cry, and I did cry a little as I rode away. But my

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-23601138236830007702010-12-05T17:41:00.000-08:002010-12-05T17:41:00.470-08:00

Marijuana: It's not perfect. But it's the best painkiller I've tried yet. I've tried using it in various ways. Eating it in brownies, cookies, butter, and candy tasted good but never had a noticeable affect on my pain. Vaporizing it wasn't as effective and was a huge to-do with machines and balloons and nonsense. Applying it in lotion form may have helped with some muscle tension but I wouldn't

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-49156300278375396872010-11-29T18:23:00.000-08:002010-11-29T18:23:18.460-08:00

There was a cat intermittently yowling under my house for about a day, which no one else could hear at first, so I became convinced it was a new migraine symptom, because WHY NOT. But when we got home from Turkeyfest 2010, my boyfriend heard it too, so he found the cat and chased it out. Hooray for not hallucinating. Again. Thanksgiving sum up: perfumed people, loud talkers, rich and heavy

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-73983409211414489772010-11-27T07:50:00.000-08:002010-11-27T07:50:15.695-08:00

Quite a while back, I tried a homeopathic product called Banjo. Dr. Steve's Banjo is "nine herbal extracts in the form of a big lozenge that you let dissolve in your mouth". It's meant to reduce inflammation, which Dr. Steve was sure I had. (He has since been proven right.) To me, it tastes like a lovely blend of ginger and lemon: a little tart, a little bitter, and a little sweet. I've got

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-1690301007214891992010-11-21T23:54:00.000-08:002010-11-22T09:52:53.684-08:00

1. I seem to remember the cold being friendlier. My head really doesn't appreciate all the shivering. 2. I made a sort of fried bean patty dish the other day and as far as pull-it-out-of-my-ass-improvisations go, this one was a rousing success. I enjoy cooking. 3. Sewing has been incredible. My mom gave me a wonderfully soft pullover sweater that was NOT. FLATTERING. on either of us, so I cut

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-17070204908463138542010-11-17T08:30:00.000-08:002010-11-17T08:30:11.580-08:00

In googling for people like me I've come across a lot of great blogs about disability. How people with disabilities (PWDs) are treated, how they live, how they work through the system and how they live their lives without the ease that temporarily-able-bodied people (TABs) have. I took that ease for granted. I never thought about accessibility. Why would I? I have had very few people in my life

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-5607854951932203392010-11-09T04:06:00.000-08:002010-11-09T04:06:00.543-08:00

I'm still trying to find my groove with the holidays. I've gone through it thrice now, with migraines, and I'm still intimidated. It makes me feel whiny, how it all used to be so easy and how everything I want is so hard now and life is unfair and WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. Enough of that. That attitude never gets me anywhere, so I need a new one. I need to think of this as a challenge. I know my

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-92145999127064173612010-11-05T09:22:00.000-07:002010-11-05T09:22:43.545-07:00

Being thankful isn't always easy, is it? Luckily, Diana Lee over at Somebody Heal Me is hosting the November 2010 Headache & Migraine Disease Blog Carnival, and the theme is: What are you thankful for despite living with migraine disease? So, let's all take a moment to reflect, shall we? I have a supportive partner, loving parents, a funny and interesting circle of friends and family, a roof

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-11392856172516464562010-11-02T13:36:00.000-07:002010-11-02T13:36:48.969-07:00

When a major appliance breaks down, I feel like I am helpless and lost in the wilderness. How will I cope? Will I even survive? Oh, the drama! Oh, the panic! I am lucky to have a mechanically inclined boyfriend. Every time something breaks, he fixes it. (knock on wood) He opens things up and makes a lot of noise with his tools and shows me parts of things and says technical words while holding it

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-91785815055663422152010-10-30T13:37:00.000-07:002010-10-31T13:45:51.088-07:00

This has been an eventful week. I woke up way too early this morning and am feeling all stiff and foggy and GRUMPY AS HELL. I'm supposed to have plans tonight, but the kitchen is trashed and I am so wiped from a 7.6 mile bike ride yesterday, that I really have no idea how I am going to do it all without melting down. Speaking of melting down. That 7.6 mile bike ride was to our local Aid

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-13099337144710734682010-10-26T10:34:00.000-07:002010-10-26T10:34:18.458-07:00

A few items about the blog. About a hundred years ago, I got a couple blogger-endowed awards. A very belated thanks MigrainePuppet, Tallis, and Jessica. There's nothing better than mutual blog love. But I am once again going to ignore the rules and not make a list of people to pass it on to. Sorry. I tried a few times, but it was like picking a favorite song or movie. There are too many

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-64117480918019187532010-10-22T11:09:00.000-07:002010-10-23T06:44:11.205-07:00

I was just thinking that halloween is like a kick-off party to the massive weight gain olympics that are The Holidays and I am really hoping that if I derail that train by not buying any candy that I like for the trick-or-treaters (read: buy stock in candy corn) that maybe my caboose won't end up so overloaded at the end of the line. Oh hey, looks like this is going to be another random, blurty

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-76176619183882761212010-10-16T17:36:00.000-07:002010-10-16T17:36:59.853-07:00

I just got home from a six mile bike ride, my furthest yet. And I am exhausted. So here's some lazy stream of consciousness. This is always fun. I've been alternately super-healthy-raw-foodie girl and junk-carb-binger-lady, often within minutes of each other. I don't know if it's pain, side effects from the drugs, or just my desperation and frustration at being trapped inside the house for days

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-32400134553185481462010-10-10T20:42:00.000-07:002010-10-10T20:42:17.119-07:00

Anybody remember when I posted that link to that hallucinogenic mushroom page and we didn't ever really bring it up again, cause WOW, what a crazy treatment for migraines, right?! Well. **The disclaimer: I, not being a doctor or scientist of any kind, am not recommending that anyone try hallucinogenic mushrooms, for any reason. I did my own research and took my own risks, knew the possible

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-79475635100272400402010-10-01T16:55:00.000-07:002010-10-01T16:55:13.186-07:00

This last (fingers crossed!) heat wave has really beaten me down. I've been reclusive and snappy, exhausted and lethargic, depressed and bored. So, here's a list of the recent awesome, which has been helping me set my head back on straight. **I have now been on several successful bike rides. I haven't crashed yet, but I did topple over in a highly dramatic and painful way that was surely a joy

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-20886945704897394442010-09-27T15:51:00.000-07:002010-09-27T15:51:00.330-07:00

My first misadventure in biking was extraordinarily pathetic. I woke up that morning to gray skies of joy. The sun was firmly MIA, so I decided to walk the dog to the park. It was a pleasant, uneventful walk. I took some pictures and she practiced sitting at curbs. We went to the enclosed dog park, and I walked around and scooped errant poop while she sniffed. Then we roamed the regular park

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-78343532432469117472010-09-19T11:30:00.000-07:002010-12-18T21:21:15.129-08:00

I've seen her twice now, and I haven't seen a needle yet. She's actually an internist, with a background in research and integrative medicine. She specializes in treating illness without pharmaceuticals, utilizing nutrition, physical therapy, biofeedback and, most importantly, acupuncture. She was recommended by my PCP, who really hit the nail on the head with this referral. It was a normal

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-8755640912948390182010-09-17T13:29:00.000-07:002010-09-17T13:29:00.641-07:00

In recognition of Invisible Illness week, I give you the meme: 1. The illness I live with is: chronic migraines 2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2007 3. But I had symptoms since: 2007, it was a pretty sudden onset. Though I have had occasional symptoms since childhood, like the subtlest of foreshadowing. 4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: being quiet. I miss being at the

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-27243739663233329912010-09-13T16:58:00.000-07:002010-09-13T16:58:38.432-07:00

I went on my first bike ride in more than fifteen years. It was scary and exhilarating and exhausting. And came with a funny story, which always works for me. This has been a long time coming. My boyfriend is a skilled bicyclist, he can maneuver himself around on the thing like it's an extension of his body and he makes it looks effortless. It's very impressive. He's been trying to get me to

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-77681914368912031292010-09-08T08:47:00.000-07:002010-12-18T21:21:15.131-08:00

The short: slightly high cholesterol, low vitamin d and slightly elevated esr. The long: I knew I was going to come up with some unsavory results. I have been WAY too self indulgent with food. I'm in pain, so I easily fall into the food tastes good/makes me feel good trap. AND my preferred method of pain relief is notorious for it's tendency to increase appetite, and I have definitely fallen

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-18104317541319654582010-09-05T14:09:00.000-07:002010-09-05T14:09:21.847-07:00

I'm skipping a family get-together today. And here's why: 1. It's hot and sunny. Neither is great for my head. 2. I'm in a bad cycle. I drank caffeine two days ago and am still paying for it. Nausea, dizziness, mood swings and my good buddy pain are unrelenting, despite medication. So, faking the funk for the sake of being social is pretty impossible right now. 3. We'd be taking public

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-47382411322249503912010-08-29T22:10:00.000-07:002010-08-29T22:10:36.176-07:00

The heat has been beating me down, hard, and getting out of the house has not been a priority. But this morning I awoke with the desire to walk half a mile to the farmer's market, even though I knew I'd be going to my parents' house for dinner later. Most of the time when I do this, it ends badly. Going out in the heat, in the sun, subjecting myself to noises and smells and then carrying several

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-79985232996155330782010-08-26T04:18:00.000-07:002010-12-18T21:21:15.132-08:00

I think I officially have a needle phobia now. I got an order for a massively comprehensive blood panel and urinalysis from my doc. I was and wasn't thrilled. I mean, yay tests, maybe something will come back that's helpful. But then there's the needle/blood thing. I've learned to warn phlebotomists, and explain my mild aversion. It's never been a big deal, I just don't look, and they are

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-56746471881677249132010-08-20T13:31:00.000-07:002010-08-20T18:12:05.045-07:00

My google alerts has been blowing up my email with stories about an american football player, Percy Harvin of the Minnesota Vikings, who has migraines, and has been sidelined from practice. Poor guy. I mean, the migraines are bad enough, but to have every sports related news outfit commenting on it constantly has got to be stressful. Thankfully the paparazzi has not yet gotten wind of my

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9100388196141829299.post-31293511146692377532010-08-16T22:30:00.000-07:002010-11-30T10:16:38.231-08:00

My computer is a confirmed migraine trigger. This is less than desirable. Several months ago, I had to go offline for a whole week because every time I looked at the screen I had severe eye throbbing and temple stabbing, plus nausea, wooziness, exaggerated afterimages, and the sense that the words were moving on the screen. Since that week, I've learned a few tricks to keeping the migraines at

stephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10376314727233594908noreply@blogger.com6